Dane Cook: The Mr. Skin Interview

Congratulations on your new CD/DVD, Retaliation, landing number four on the Billboard charts. That's a record, isn't it?
First of all, thank you very much. I appreciate it. And, yes, according to Billboard, the last time something like this happened was twenty-six years ago, Steve Martin's Wild and Crazy Guy. So it's certainly a landmark event for them, and for my fifteen years of standup, a feather in my cap.

Now let's get this out of the way up front: Can the SuperFinger be used as a sexual aid?
There are a lot of think tanks coming together on this. I must say honestly, it never started that way. It was something that derived from my act, from a routine I did about the finger and how I thought it was old fashioned and I wanted to give it some new pizzazz and upgrade it.

It came from a bit, but I'm not going to lie. I've gotten quite a few emails from men and women who are exploring the possibilities with the SuFi.

Well, that's just the mark of a truly creative gift, I guess, that it has a life of its own that continues to evolve.
I've got to tell you, what started off as a logo or a bit of a respect sign for my fans and a joke, [became] part of a routine. I have a photo here framed in my office of forty U.S. Marines in Baghdad and every single one of them is doing the SuFi in the photo. In the past five years it's taken on a life of its own. I don't think it's just mine anymore.

Several of your movies are on our site--Flypaper, Simon Sez, Stuck on You, and Mr. 3000--which begs the question: Do you remember the first time as a kid you saw nudity in a mainstream movie?
I want to say the first thing I saw was Black Emmanuelle. I do remember when we first got cable. I heard of the Emmanuelle movies, and I guess there must have been dozens of them. One night, I'm going to say it's Black Emanuelle, the first nudity that I remember captivating me.

Are you a fan of exploitation or sexploitation fare, like Cinemax After Dark stuff?
Oh, yeah. As a comic, we're vampires; we're late-night dwellers. Certainly, I've perused and watched plenty of great-bad TV.

Who are your favorite movie sex symbols?
I had the poster, the Farrah Fawcett poster in the bathing suit, with nine-inch nipple. There have been other people who said this, but I used to try to actually peek my head under the poster somehow to see if I could see even more.

I think the first crush I had on an older woman was Betty White. No, just kidding. I was a huge Three's Company fan because I loved John Ritter from a comedy standpoint. But definitely Suzanne Somers was something that helped me to find puberty quicker.

Are these famous actresses part of your fan base now?
From time to time I've definitely had the luxury of meeting celebrities. It seems, especially the last few years, comedy is on an upswing--it has its ebbs and flows. Jessica Biel was just down at my show the other night. I actually did a film with her and Chris Evans a couple months back. They had been fans of my standup and I ended up doing a movie with them, so now they've come down to some shows. But she's a masterpiece that woman.

Do comics get groupies, and will any of that kind of footage show up in your tour documentary, Tourgasm?
There will definitely be interesting moments in Tourgasm. I didn't know when I first started that there was such a thing as comedy groupies. But as I've learned as years go by, the most beautiful women in the world want to laugh. I've heard a clich?hat the most beautiful women are the loneliest because they don't get approached. But I must say that I've been a very fortunate guy to meet some amazing women at shows. They say comedy is an aphrodisiac--guilty!

Are you autographing a lot of breasts?
I've signed plenty of breasts, yes, lots of boobs. In fact, one night, I must have signed about twenty breasts and all of a sudden a guy walks up and says, "Hey dude, sign my sack." He had his balls out. I said, "That's really ... no, I can't do that."

Have you seen The Aristocrats, the documentary about the dirtiest joke ever told?
I've not seen that yet, but I was talking to Bob Saget up at the club the other night and he was telling me that it just looks fantastic. I guess he's pretty hardcore in it, so I'll probably check it this week.

Do you have a version of that foul joke?
I've never done that joke. But when I was putting Retaliation together, believe it or not, one of the options was I had the double album and my original idea was a triple CD. I have an extra forty-five minutes of pretty hardcore-X stuff, my more of a late-night thing that I've put together over the fifteen years of just having to have that material when you have to go there. I didn't end up doing it but certainly wouldn't mind being a part of that film or something along those lines.

Is there going to be a Dane Cook blue album coming out soon?
Don't tell my record company, but I'd love to sneak it out there as a bootleg. It's pretty brutal. One of the bits actually made it onto Retaliation, it's the "Where's the Handle" bit, which is a great blowjob story that really happened to me when I was seventeen. That's on there because it doesn't hit you in the face like a frying pan.

You're in a movie called London, which is in post-production. You play a character called Cockblocker. Can you expand on this?
That is the Jessica Biel/Chris Evans film. It's kind of a dark comedy. They play a couple going through all these troubles because of drug-related things. It gets tough on their relationship. There's a scene where as they're separate for a little bit, they're at a party and I'm hitting really hardcore on Jessica Biel. I'm trying to come between her character and Chris's character. So I am a cockblocker because I know that's his chick but I'm still working it really hard, trying to get in there with Jessica's character.

It's one of the more unique character names I've seen on IMDB.
I know. It's an interesting part. It's comedic and all that, but if you really look at the piece Chris comes up and he's kind of the cockblocker because I'm doing pretty well with his chick. I'm going to defend the name and say that I am a cockblocker by proxy. Let's just say that and let the fans decide.



All Dane Cook images courtesy of DaneCook.com