Deutschland Delights!

By Udo Baumann

Hold onto your liederhosen, because modern Germany is pumping out a seemingly endless parade of ferociously sexy screen frauleins!

Forget sleek cars and precision engineering, the real mechanics of this revolution turns on an organ far more luxurious and fun to drive. Yes, pants everywhere have revved up with recent international successes like Das Wunder von Bern (2003), Das Experiment (2001) as well as Golden Globe nominee Good bye, Lenin! (2003) and Academy Award winner Nirgendwo in Afrika (2001).

Sauerkrauts no more, these Gerrys have come to make us jolly. Are you under the impression that German films are primarily screened in kink-friendly peepshows? Well, it's time to get your flesh passport stamped with a more wholesome destination, filled with frauleins whose panties are clean even if yours aren't after watching them do their breast.

Pounding down the path blazed by Franka Potente, the Marlene Dietrichs of the new millennium are exploding all over the globe like bombshells. Sophie Rogall, Nadja Bobyleva, Jana Pallaske, Rebecca Mosselmann, Sibel Kekilli, Laura Osswald, Birthe Wolter, Luise Helm, Anna Br?mann and angelic eyeful Susanne Bormann are turning the entire planet into a Beer Garden of Eden that any viewer would want to put their lips around.

The first round in the Battle of the Bulge-in-Your-Crotch features the top-tier canons of Sophie Rogall, who shot to fame as the female lead in the critically acclaimed teenager drama Fickende Fische (2002) (Picture: 1 - 2). The film's title translates to English as Fucking Fish, and Sophie's snapper is quite the catch.

From Russia comes more than love, as Nadja Bobyleva is a sexport from the East who landed in Germany with a thud felt in every man's trousers. Blue-eyed blonde Nadja gets topless in a pair of 2001 releases, Engel & Joe (Picture: 1 - 2) and the made-for-TV drama Hand in Hand (Picture: 1) -- the latter of which prompts most viewers' hands to head south. Nadja's latest lustful liaison is the comedy Verschwende deine Jugend (2003) (Picture: 1 - 2), where she shows off all her sensual stuff and still can't get co-star Tom Schilling to join her in bed. Something's rotten in Germany!

Americans have ogled Jana Pallaske in Extreme Ops (2002) and Eurotrip (2004), but we've yet to see the breast parts of this babe. The sultry seductress with the full figure and BJ lips is a part-time musician and MTV who exposed her luscious nakedness in Engel & Joe (Picture: 1 - 2) during a sexual showdown a very lucky Robert Stadlober.

German audiences have had the pleasure of watching Rebecca Mosselmann grow up before their eyes - and oh, how she's grown (and made viewers' bratwurst grow in direct proportion). After debuting on TV at 12, Rebecca has since graduated to carnal big-screen comedies such as Knallharte Jungs (2002). Becky also happens to be the proud owner of one of the most perfect pairs on the planet. Better still, she's eager to share. She first flashed in the made-for-TV movie Krieger und Liebhaber (Picture: 1). And she keeps on giving: in the action-comedy Abgefahren (2004), randy Rebecca mixes minx with the skinfully acclaimed Felicitas Woll and Teresa Weissbach. Two's company, but three's a wow!Now, talk about Turkish delights…. The daughter of Turkish immigrants, Sibel Kekilli is no turkey. She became the most talked about slut in Germany when her debut Gegen die Wand (2004) won the Golden Bear at this year's Berlinale. It turned out that the seemingly innocent actress had previously appeared in more than a dozen hardcore porn movies back in 2002.

Regardless of the controversy, salacious Sibel stood by her prurient past and the German people supported her because you can't keep a good woman down - and if you do, it's best to have a hard man who knows what to do with her.

Sibel has recently finished shooting her second mainstream production, the comedy Kebab Connection, which is also scheduled to be released this year. No word on her wanton performance in that, but for those interested in some of the aforementioned skin flicks check out Kesse Bienen and Amateure Intim 11. But be careful, they hurt so good.

The boob tube is different in Germany. For one, they show two … tits, that is. Laura Osswald (Picture: 1) became popular as one of the leads of the raunchy sitcom Schulm?hen, about the sexual adventures of four female high school students, which also stars fellow babes Birthe Wolter (Picture: 1), Simone Hanselmann and Saskia De Lando.

Laura's Schulm?hen character is an occasionally dim-witted and always sex-hungry blonde who collects photographs of all guys she's been in bed with … and they're all smiling, no doubt. Despite its dirty subject, Schulm?hen doesn't really feature any exceptional nudity. But that doesn't keep Laura from delivering her deliciousness in other shows. She exposes her assets (and more) in the comedy Seventeen -- M?hen sind die besserren Jungs (Picture: 1 - 2) and on an episode of the TV series Klinik unter Palmen. This Osswald is a sharp shooting with a hot shot to the groin.

Hotties like to hang together. Case in point: sweet Birthe Wolter, who already has a considerably more prolific career than her Schulm?hen colleague Laura Osswald. In the last couple of years the brunette with the tattooed hip has been in several made-for-German TV productions as well as the theatrical releases Flashback -- M?rische Ferien (2000) and FearDotCom (2002) (Picture: 1 - 2). The latter flick will crash your hard drive when the lovely Birthe is naked throughout four of her six scenes, which if you're a betting man are sweet odds. She offers plenty of opportunities to check out that tattoo and even more importantly the rest of her ink-less (and clothes-less) body. In addition, Birthe also played one of the female leads in the second most successful German movie of 2003, the drama Das Wunder von Bern. Yes, when playing with Birthe always bet on red, for red-hot action.

Sometimes big things come in small packages. The mini-mammed Luise Helm is only 21 years old, and already well known outside her native county thanks to an Australian family TV show called The Outsiders. However, Luise's bra-busting breakthrough came last year when she teated us to her Teutonic A-cups and a bit of bush in the teenager-drama K?skinder (Picture: 1 - 2) while lying in a field with her lover boy surrounded by sheep. Mary might have had a little lamb, but seeing this scene gave any man a beast behind his zipper. At the moment the daughter of actor Gunnar Helm is popular for playing the daughter of Imogen Kogge in the classic crime-series Polizeiruf 110. Anyway, who wouldn't want to rear this Deutschland damsel?

Anna Br?mann started her career late, but she's made up for lust time. Her more than 20 credits, ranging from mostly smaller parts in a handful of theatrical releases to leads in TV movies like Ein Dorf sucht einen M?r and Baal (Picture: 1 - 2), of which the latter contains Anna's nude debut. And what a skintastic way to pop her cinematic cheery. In the process of more than two minutes, Anna unveils every single inch of her sweet body while arguing with the equally naked Matthias Schweigh?.

Anna's only English-language production to date is the sci-fi flick Ice Planet (2001), but for a hotter view check Anna out is the horror-thriller Anatomie (2000), where she plays a tiny supporting role opposite Franka Potente. That's two for the price of fun!

The youngest and arguably hottest actress ever to be nominated for a German Film Award, Susanne Bormann seems simply destined for skinternational superstardom. After a successful career as a child-actress, grown-up Susanne has had some bumpy lick landing projects with legs, and many have failed due to financing problems. But a little thing like money doesn't stop Susanne from showing off the honey. She has already broken the (sperm) bank, with some brief jugginess in the Tatort spin-off, Schimanski muss leiden (Picture: 1) and busted out impressive T&A in the theatrical release Liegen lernen (2003) (Picture: 1 - 2) and, finally, snizziliciously served up her full Monty in the TV drama Raus aus der Haut (Picture: 1 - 2 - 3). Talk about muff-see TV!