New Moon Nudity is a False Rumor, "Dry Humor" the Culprit

Shocking News: Movie aimed at 13-year-old Girls has No Explicit Sexual Content!

Despite star Jamie Campbell-Bower’s joking claims that he “strips off” in New Moon, the sequel to the vampire drama Twilight, will have a cast composed entirely of clothed actors. Both movies are based on a series of books (also devoid of nudity) from the young adult section and feature teen idols Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart.

When Campbell-Bower crossed his leg, arched an eyebrow and told MTV.com "We just all sit there, completely naked, for one scene. Yeah, it's me, Michael Sheen and Christopher (Heyerdahl); we just sit there, naked."

Completely missing the irony in his British-accented voice (which is almost impossible for the untrained ear to detect) the press quickly began printing stories about full frontal nudity on the set.

The spiky-haired, combat boot-wearing female fans that Kristen Stewart acquired after it was announced she would play Joan Jett in an upcoming biopic were among those most excited by the gaffe.

Fervent Robert Pattinson admirer and celebrity blogger Perez Hilton was also taken in, requiring director Chris Weitz to explain, “I would like to put everyone’s mind at rest and let them know that the Volturi (characters) are not naked! Jamie (Campbell-Bower) has what you might call a dry sense of humour and almost managed to convince me - which is why he’s such a good actor. Anyway, be assured that, even though we do want the look of the Volturi to be a bit of a surprise, they are always - as in the book! - fully clothed."

This is not the first time dry humor has caused a widespread misconception among American audiences who easily suspend their disbelief. In 1938, hundreds of people whose minds were blown by a ventriloquist show on the radio mistakenly believed themselves to be living through a Martian invasion during Orson Welles’ infamous War of the Worlds radio broadcast.

To be fair, a full-blown alien attack is slightly less probable than nudity in the Twilight sequel.