Don't Believe the Hype: Lindsay Lohan Still NOT NUDE in Machete

Machete hacked its way through theaters this weekend, opening in respectable second place and earning an impressive 14 million. It's obvious that plenty of those movie-goers were hoping to catch a glimpse of Lindsay Lohan's storied funbags. Although Machete does feature gobs of gratuitously great nudity from Mayra Leal and Alicia Rachel Marek, we stand by our original skinfo: no nudes from Lilo.

In spite of our in-depth skinalysis and scene by scene breakdown, plenty of movie blogs and fans are still insisting that what they saw on the screen was Lindsay's freckly flesh.

It's hard to accept the truth, but we're taking a hard line on this one. In the threesome scene, it was definitely not Lindsay--it was the same body double from the original Grindhouse trailer.

And as for the scene in which Lilo wakes up topless, highlighted today on Fleshbot, the hair covering her jumbo jugs is strangely immobile, as if it were pasted on. We do see something--it might be a shadow, it might be a nipple patch, it might be absolutely nothing. But we're saying that in this case, Lindsay Lohan is presumed non-nude until proven naked in a court of DVD or Blu-Ray!

So go see Machete and enjoy the boobs, but remember: Lindsay's aren't among them. It's Ma-shitty news, but it's true!