New in theaters, Emma Stone is bringing a hefty dose of sex appeal to the crime drama Gangster Squad (2013), but stays skingy by only baring a hint of side boob. Also non-nude, Alanna Ubach will tickle your funny bone in the paranormal spoof A Haunted House (2013), but to get your other bone tickled, see her 3B’s in the series Hung. Finally, Zero Dark Thirty is expanding in theaters this week, and star Jessica Chastain can cause some expansion in your pants thanks to her previous nude roles in Lawless (2012) and Jolene (2008).
Crime kingpin Mickey Cohen (Sean Penn) is expanding his criminal enterprise, but he’s about to hit meet his match in the Gangster Squad (2013). Sergeant John O'Mara (Josh Brolin) is in charge of the trigger-happy tough guys ready to clash with Cohen's criminal organization, and fellow Sergeant Jerry Wooters (Ryan Gosling) assigns himself to seduce gangster moll, Grace Faraday (Emma Stone). Now bullets will fly and blood will splatter, with L.A.’s fate hanging in the balance. Despite a mostly male cast, you can escape the sausage fest thanks to the distinctly female joys of Emma Stone’s sideboob in bed at the 21-minute mark. That moll will turn you from gangster to wankster!
See the trailer for Gangster Squad here
Marlon L. Wayans reprises his Scary Movie stylings for the paranormal spooftacular A Haunted House (2013). Malcolm (Wayans) and Kisha (Essence Atkins) are finally moving in together, but unbeknownst to her she’s being follow by a very amorous evil spirit. Now only found footage can reveal their ultimate fate. A trio of uncredited extras briefly bare boobs 16-minutes in, but stars Essence Atkins and Alanna Ubach keep clothed for this collection of penis gags and fart jokes. So sadly, A Haunted House is not a destination for fans of skin.
See the trailer for A Haunted House here
A decade of work finally pays off for the special agents in Zero Dark Thirty (2012). An elite team of military operatives are on a clandestine mission hunting the world’s most dangerous game, Osama bin Laden. At their head is a CIA officer, Maya (Jessica Chastain), who has spent her entire career trying to suss out Osama’s hiding place. We all know how it ends; now see the hunt of the FBI’s most wanted man. Jessica Chastain makes good while hunting for Osama, but our hunt to see Jessica’s jugs in this film is not nearly so successful. Zero Dark Thirty won’t get your privates standing at attention!
See the trailer for Zero Dark Thirty here
Join us again next week, Skin fans, as we rub down all the newest and nudest releases to hit theaters right here at MrSkin.com!
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