SKINcoming DVDs for August 18, 2009

Mr. Skin’s DVD Pick of the Week

The Last House on the Left (2009)—Blu-Ray
STUDIO: Universal
NUDE: Riki Lindhome (breasts), Sara Paxton (butt)
The Last House on the Left (2009) is a remake of Wes Craven's notorious 1972 exploitation film of the same name, itself a purported remake of Ingmar Bergman’s The Virgin Spring (1960). When her parents (Tony Goldwyn and Monica Potts) take her to their lake house on vacation, young Mari Collingwood (Sara Paxton) quickly ditches them to hang out with her free-spirited friend Paige (Martha MacIsaac). Soon the two girls find themselves smoking pot in a hotel room with seemingly harmless and shy Justin (Spencer Treat Clark) when his escaped-convict father Krug (Garret Dillahunt) comes back unexpectedly, accompanied by Justin's uncle Francis (Aaron Paul) and Krug’s girlfriend Sadie (Riki Lindhome). The three sleazebags promptly take the girls out into the woods to rape and kill them but unknowingly leave Mari alive. When a storm approaches, Krug and company seek shelter with the Collingwoods, unaware that they are the parents of Mari, who's not expected to come home until the morning anyway. But when Justin discovers the truth, he is overcome with guilt and leaves a locket he had taken off of Mari’s body for her mother to find. Meanwhile, the critically injured Mari drags herself home, and her parents finally realize what their guests have done and proceed to exact a brutal revenge. Along the way, we see some sweet seat from Sara, and Riki shows her rack-i in four different scenes. Just keep repeating, “It’s only a booby . . . it’s only a booby . . . ”

Absurdistan (2008)
STUDIO: First Run Pictures
NUDE: Kristyna Malerova (FFN, butt)
Filmed in the small country of Azerbaijan, the satirical comedy Absurdistan (2008) stars Maximilian Mauff as Temelko, a young man whose planned defloration of his childhood sweetheart Aya (Kristyna Malerova) comes into question when the women of the village call a sex strike until the men do something about the looming water shortage caused by a leaky water main. While Temelko tries to fix the pipe himself so he can then lay some pipe of his own, Aya shows all three B’s getting some air on a roof. Absurdistan will have you taking a solo flight to Masturbistan!

Dark Rising (2007)
STUDIO: E1 Entertainment
NUDE: Vanessa James (breasts), Haley Shannon (breasts)
When Jason Parks (Landy Cannon) invites his ex-fiancee Jasmine (Vanessa James) and her current lesbian lover (Haley Shannon) and their Wicca practitioner pal Renee (Julia Schneider) on a camping trip, things quickly go south in the horror-comedy Dark Rising (2007). Renee opens up a portal to another world and frees Summer Vale (Brigitte Kingsley), who has been trapped there since she was a little girl, along with a malevolent demonic being. There is plenty of toplessness here, including a bare-breasted girl-girl scene between Vanessa and Haley. That will have your dork rising.

Final Destination Collection—Final Destination 2 (2003)
STUDIO: New Line
NUDE: Odessa Munroe (breasts)
The only survivor of the bloody events that killed all her friends mysteriously in Final Destination (2000), Clear Rivers (Ali Larter) is secluded in an institution as the horror sequel Final Destination 2 (2003) opens. But her peace and quiet are disturbed when she receives a visit from Kimberly Corman (A.J. Cook), a young woman whose vision of a cataclysmic car crash that she and her friends escaped leads her to believe that all of their lives are in danger. While Ali and A.J. stay clothed here, busty blonde biker babe Odessa Munroe provides the film’s skin when she flashes a moving car on a highway. Nice headlights!

Final Destination Collection—Final Destination 3 (2006)
STUDIO: New Line
NUDE: Crystal Lowe (breasts, butt), Chelan Simmons (breasts, butt)
Made in 3-D, which makes one really want to reach out and grab the ample skin on display, Final Destination 3 (2006) is the third and arguably the best in the scare series. The story is basically the same, with a premonition of death on a rollercoaster saving a group of students. But Death never takes a holiday and comes looking to redeem the lives owed him. The deaths are great—creative and satisfying for the horror fans in the audience. Skin fans will also not be disappointed. Thankfully this isn’t the final Final Destination.

Gigantic (2009)
STUDIO: Vivendi Entertainment
NUDE: Zooey Deschanel (breasts)
Paul Dano is mattress salesman Brian Weathersby, who takes psilocybin with his dad (Ed Asner) and has always dreamed of adopting a Chinese baby in the quirky comedy Gigantic (2009). One day a big fat eccentric billionaire with a bad back (John Goodman) comes into the store to look for a mattress and brings his hot young doe-eyed daughter (Zooey Deschanel), who offers her body to Brian and initiates an offbeat romance. In a poolside scene, we get a quick peek at Zooey’s peaks, and that will make you gigantic.

Julia (2008)
STUDIO: Magnolia
NUDE: Tilda Swinton (left breast)
Tilda Swinton plays the titular struggling alcoholic whose neighbor talks her into helping to kidnap her estranged son Tommy (Aidan Gould) in the crime drama Julia (2008). But after she picks up the boy, Julia discovers his mother has no money. So she flees to Mexico and demands ransom from Tommy’s rich grandfather. But things go wrong when the boy is kidnapped from her in Mexico and she has to get him back to collect the ransom. Along the way, Tilda flashes her left boob a couple of times. When it comes to skin, son, you can’t beat Swinton.

Spring Break (1983)
STUDIO: Anchor Bay
NUDE: Rhonda Flynn (breasts), Nikki Fritz (breasts), Sheila Kennedy (breasts)
Helmed by Friday the 13th director Sean S. Cunningham, the teen sex comedy Spring Break (1983) stars Paul Land and Steve Bassett as a couple of lady killers who come to Ft. Lauderdale to get laid only to find two nerds (David Knell and Perry Lang) booked in their hotel room. The nerds agree to share the room if their new roommates show them how to get girls. And that’s not all they show them—Sheila Kennedy, Nikki Fritz, Rhonda Flynn, and a bunch of girls at a wet t-shirt contest all bare their boobs. You’ll want to Spring Break them off!