Each Tuesday, be sure to check in with Mr. Skin to get the complete skinny right here on the hottest DVD releases. Here is the randy round-up for the week of February 3, 2009.
10 DEAD MEN (2007)
STUDIO: MTI Home Video
NUDES: Aylsha Thompson (breasts) (Picture-1), Kat Varga (FFN) (Picture-1)
THE SKINNY: Bald badass Brendan Carr stars as hitman Ryan in the revenge thriller 10 Dead Men. As the movie’s evocative tagline declares: “Ten Men Destroyed His Life. Now Ten Men Will Pay.” When Ryan wants out of the killing business, thugs murder his beloved girlfriend, setting our hero on a brutal crusade for justice. Amidst the slam-bang action, dark-haired Aylsha Thompson lights up the screen as an escort and Hungarian hottie Kat Varga purrs full-frontally nude in a porn video. 10 Dead Men will give you billions of dead semen.
18 YEAR OLD VIRGIN (2009)
STUDIO: Asylum Home Entertainment
NUDES: Crystal Baker (breasts, butt, bush) (Picture-1), Olivia Alaina May (breasts, butt, bush) (Picture-1), Lauren Walsh (breasts) (Picture-1)
THE SKINNY: Olivia Alaina May is Katie, an uptight high-school girl out to lose her virginity in the teen sex comedy 18 Year Old Virgin. Giving up on saving herself for her gorgeous hunk of a dream man (Dustin Harnish), Katie decides to do whatever it takes to become a woman. She ends up spanking one guy with a riding crop, shaving her bush, giving an old man a blowjob, and being pulled into a lesbian threesome. But as soon as one of the girls shoves her snatch into Olivia’s face, she petulantly declares herself to be “so not a lesbian.” What lesbian, Olivia? Just lick the lady’s lap!
BALLS OUT: GARY THE TENNIS COACH (2009)
NUDES: Cristel Dominguez (breasts) (Picture-1), Tricia Bergan (breasts, thong) (Picture-1)
THE SKINNY: The raunchy sports-themed comedy Balls Out: Gary the Tennis Coach stars Seann William Scott as Gary Houseman, a tennis coach who takes over the ailing program at a high school that only cares about football. With his unorthodox methods, including treating his players to lap dances with topless girls, Coach Gary builds up the tennis players’ confidence so he can take them to state finals. Along with tennis, Balls Out also serves up some nice skin from topless Tijuana performer Cristel Dominguez and Tricia Bergan. Be careful, you might get tennis elbow from working your forehand!
BLITZKRIEG: ESCAPE FROM STALAG 69 (2008)
STUDIO: Wild Eye Releasing
NUDES: Tatyana Kot (FFN, butt), Marjie Kelley (FFN, butt), Steph Van Vlack (FFN)
THE SKINNY: Underground publisher of the Exploitation Journal and B-movie madman Keith J. Crocker follows up his hairy-and-scary directorial debut The Bloody Ape (1997) with the Nazisploitation epic Blitzkrieg: Escape From Stalag 69. Charles Esser stars as cruel commandant Helmut Schultz, who oversees a secret Third Reich prison camp, where female inmates are tortured and degraded for sexual pleasure. An American GI intends to liberate the compound before the Gestapo arrives to eliminate everyone and everything in it. Blitzkrieg hails from the wicked tradition of the Ilsa films, Salon Kitty, and The Beast in Heat, with Crocker bringing a fresh madness to the proceedings and luscious Tatyana Kot, as Russian agent Natasha, leading a naked-lady battalion that will make your little soldier give a “Sieg, heil!” salute.
BOOGEYMAN 3 (2008)
STUDIO: Sony Pictures
NUDE: Nikki Sanderson (breasts, butt, bush) (Picture-1)
THE SKINNY: Foxy brunette Erin Cahill stars as Sarah in the direct-to-video spooker Boogeyman 3, a sequel to the 2005 theatrical release Boogeyman. As Sarah’s friends start to die off in increasingly curious circumstances, she wonders if there isn’t a supernatural slasher out there—indeed, a Boogeyman—who’s coming after her by ripping up the ones she cares about. Boogeyman 3 is scary in the right places and screamingly sexy when knockout Nikki Sanderson bares every inch of her naked body.
COLD PREY (2006)
STUDIO: Starz /Anchor Bay
NUDE: Viktoria Winge (butt) (Picture-1)
THE SKINNY: From the land of fjords, fishermen, and Fimbulwinter, the Norwegian fright flick Cold Prey will chill you to the bone(r). The film follows a group of teenagers on a snowboarding trip in the mountains who have to take shelter in an abandoned hotel when one of their party breaks his leg. But the hotel isn’t completely abandoned, and whoever still lives there has decided to start slaughtering his unwanted guests. It seems women are less likely to be naked in cold climes, but we do get a bit of crack slippage from Viktoria Winge as she runs for her life. You’ll be “prey”-ing with yourself!
THE GENE GENERATION (2007)
STUDIO: Lions Gate
NUDE: Bai Ling (2007) (Picture-1)
THE SKINNY: Bisexual Asian sensation Bai Ling boasts two of the most mouth-wateringly mammoth milk spigots ever photographed atop her pert boobies, and now she stars as assassin-for-hire Michelle in the sci-fi action romp The Gene Generation. In the not-so-distant future, scientists concoct a DNA-rearranging device that can cure patients of almost any ill, but which ultimately turns on the person who is applying it (one unfortunate doctor—played by legendary Faye Dunaway—actually gets reconfigured into a pile of snakes). When the gizmo falls into the hands of international baddies, Michelle’s trouble-making brother Jackie (Parry Shen) gets mixed up in the mess that follows, and it’s up to his gun-toting, ass-stomping, doorknob-nippled sibling to blast him out of it. Breast of all, Bai blasts her miraculously mammoth dairy spigots out of her shirt along the way, so when watching The Gene Generation, be sure to bring along a change of jeans.
NATIONAL LAMPOON’S THE STONED AGE (2007)
NUDES: Carol Alt (thong) (Picture-1), Darryl Hanah (breasts) (Picture-1), Marie Luv (breasts) (Picture-1), Andrea Lowell (breasts) (Picture-1), Samantha Lusk (nip slips) (Picture-1)
THE SKINNY: Set among Neanderthals in the prehistoric era, National Lampoon's The Stoned Age stars Adam Rifkin as a caveman named Ishbo who yearns to invent fire, eating utensils, clothes, and to enter the girl-cave of cavegirl Fardart (Ali Larter). But Fardart prefers Ishbo’s brother Thudnik (Hayes MacArthur), and to make matters worse, an enemy tribe is planning to attack Ishbo’s people. Supermodel Carol Alt also appears, but neither she nor Ali Larter get nude. There are plenty of uncredited nude-anderthals played by porn stars Jacklyn Lick, Darryl Hanah, and Marie Luv. Sadly, much of their breast work was cut from the final edit, but it does appear in the DVD special features. That will turn you to stone in your pants.
POISON IVY: THE SECRET SOCIETY (2008)
STUDIO: New Line
NUDES: Miriam McDonald (breasts) (Picture-1), Shawna Waldron (breasts) (Picture-1)
THE SKINNY: The fourth installment in the venerable Poison Ivy franchise, which so far has featured nudity from nubile young act-chests Drew Barrymore, Alyssa Milano, and Jaime Pressly, Poison Ivy: The Secret Society marks the nude debut of Degrassi: The Next Generation star Miriam McDonald. Miriam plays small-town girl Daisy Brooks, who transfers into a prestigious New England college after the death of her parents and breaking up with her boyfriend of two years. But something is underfoot at the exclusive school, where a female student has just died under mysterious circumstances. Among the subjects covered in this curriculum are Miriam’s topless twins, the naked cauldrons of Shawna Waldron, and a lesbian make-out session between Crystal Lowe and same. This Poison Ivy will have you scratching that itch all night long!
SHUT UP AND SHOOT! (2006)
NUDE: Tabitha Taylor (right breast) (Picture-1)
THE SKINNY: Featuring the talents of “Rowdy” Roddy Piper, Joe Estevez, Gary Busey, and Tom Sizemore, the satirical comedy Shut Up and Shoot! tells the story of a down-on-his-luck actor (Silvio Pollio) whose manager (Joseph Cortese) is ordering him to assassinate all the rival producers in town. Blonde babe Tabitha Taylor reveals her right rackage and looks like she’s about to show more before some guys bust in and ruin the scene. Shut up so we can shoot!
THE STEWARDESSES (1969)
STUDIO: Shout! Factory
NUDES: Paula Erikson (FFN) (Picture-1), Patricia Fein (FFN, butt) (Picture-1), Katrina Frank (FFN, butt) (Picture-1), Monica Gayle (FFN) (Picture-1), Christina Hart (breasts) (Picture-1), Beth Shields (breasts, butt) (Picture-1), Janet Wass (FFN, butt) (Picture-1), Angelique de Moline (breasts, bush) (Picture-1)
THE SKINNY: The Stewardesses is a high-flying 3-D romp that broke box-office records during its initial run as a sexploitation sensation and again throughout the ’70s, ’80s, and even well into the ’90s as a campy midnight-movie favorite. Pennsylvania native Christina Hart leads the cast of T&A-happy flight attendants as they bring new meaning to the term layover. The flighty erotic proceedings include girl-girl action, go-go-dancing, LSD, and a visit to an amusement park’s haunted house—all in the miracle of three dimensions! When it comes to the three B’s—boobs, butt, and bush—book a trip with The Stewardesses, which is even in 3-D on DVD!
STRIPPER ACADEMY (2007)
STUDIO: Maverick Entertainment Group
NUDES: Julie Costello (thong), Shawnie Costello (thong), Katie Cleary (thong), Jenae Altschwager (breasts, butt), Vanessa Brenton (breasts, thong)
THE SKINNY: There’s book smart, street smart, and then there’s the kind of smarts one picks up (hard) at the Stripper Academy. Real-life naked identical twin sisters Julie Costello and Shawnie Costello are but two of the highlights in this most a-peeling comedy, which also includes a wacky dwarf and character actor Richard Tyson in the role of Mr. VIP. Stripper Academy is one school of hard knockers you’ll be happy to attend.
SUZIE HEARTLESS (2008)
STUDIO: Alternative Cinema
NUDES: Michelle Aston (FFN), Wendy McColm (breasts, thong) (Picture-1), Andrea Davis (breasts) (Picture-1), uncredited actresses
THE SKINNY: Bleak, bizarre, and often overpoweringly arousing, the experimental, dialogue-free Suzie Heartless chronicles the final days in the unhappy life of the titular teenage prostitute, searingly portrayed by gorgeous Wendy McColm. As she wanders from one whacked-out sexual encounter to another—including an awesome finger banging by a naked, busty, fluffy-muffed, tattooed lesbian—one might wonder what’s causing this nude-boobed beauty to suffer so. Wonder-nippled Andrea Davis appears as a mother figure, showing her offspring how to bang for bucks, as well as showing off her new breast implants (Andrea, we loved you just the way you were!). Suzie Heartless is a downer in every aspect except in the direction that your pants will be pointing as you watch it.
TRUE TRUE LIE (2006)
STUDIO: Weinstein Co.
NUDES: Lydia Leonard (breasts) (Picture-1)
THE SKINNY: Supermodel Jaime King stars in the thriller True True Lie as Nathalie, a young beauty we see after she is released from a dozen-year stay in a mental health facility. As Nathalie attempts to readjust to life outside the institution, she begins to wonder if the bizarre events that got her locked up in the first place actually took place and were not, as she was told, creations of her imagination. The atmosphere is thick with mystery, and the suspense is nerve jangling in True True Lie. That makes Lydia Leonard’s lovely boob-baring scene all the more rewarding.
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