SKINcoming DVDs - July 1, 2008

Each Tuesday, be sure to check in with Mr. Skin to read skin-depth reviews right here on the hottest DVD releases.

Here's the randy round-up for the week of July 1, 2008!

July 1, 2008

ARIA (1987)
STUDIO: Lightyear Video
NUDES: Bridget Fonda (breasts, butt) (Picture: 1), Elizabeth Hurley (breasts, butt) (Picture: 1), Valerie Allain (FFN, butt) (Picture: 1), Marion Peterson (FFN, butt) (Picture: 1), Linzi Drew (breasts) (Picture: 1)
THE SKINNY: What happens when you put ten big-time directors together, each responsible for bringing to life a different opera aria, and collect it in a feature-length movie? You get Aria, one of the great nudie musicals of all time! Scratching your head, huh? Well, move that hand a little lower, for what this movie lacks in down-and-dirty cohesiveness it more than makes up for with a boobiful bounty of young and naked starlets, including Elizabeth Hurley, Bridget Fonda, Linzi Drew, Marion Peterson, and Valerie Allain. We see naked high notes, bare-bottom registers, and even some diva beava! Bet you never knew you were so cultured.

BABY IT'S YOU (1983)
STUDIO: Legend Films
NUDE: Rosanna Arquette (left breast) (Picture: 1)
THE SKINNY: Fresh off the indie lesbian classic Lianna (1983), New-Jersey-based independent writer/director John Sayles took on heterosexuals with Baby It's You, a tale of growing up and falling in love in the Garden State, circa 1966. Rosanna Arquette brilliantly (and boobaliciously) embodies a young girl who falls for Vincent Spano as a high-school Lothario known as "The Sheik." Their young dalliance goes on to get seriously romantic and depressing, as Rosanna makes it into an all-girl college and Spano ends up as a Sinatra impersonator-which wasn't exactly the coolest thing to be back at the heady dawn of Flower Power, maaan. At least pregnancy doesn't come up, which might explain why the guy's called "The Sheik." You'll be whipping up some baby-it's-you batter, though, as Arquette goes topless and Liane Alexandra Curtis sports some vintage bra and panties.

DESPERATE CHARACTERS (1971)
STUDIO: Legend Films
NUDE: Shirley MacLaine (breasts) (Picture: 1)
THE SKINNY: A bleak drama about the disintegrating lives of New Yorkers, the downbeat drama Desperate Characters features Kenneth Mars as a lawyer whose relationship with his law partner and best friend is breaking down. Shirley MacLaine-at the height of her long-legged, post-Rat-Pack, pre-space-case sexual powers-portrays the lead schnook's miserable wife. At one point, our heroine is so desperate for contact, she gets bitten by a stray cat. Me-owch! Unfortunately Shirley keeps her own kitty hidden away, but we do get to see some rackage from the still-nubile New Ager. Nice crystal balls!

FRENCH POSTCARDS (1979)
STUDIO: Legend Films
NUDE: Marie-France Pisier (breasts) (Picture: 1)
THE SKINNY: The warm, evocatively titled romantic comedy French Postcards chronicles the living, loving exploits in and out of the classroom among a giddy gaggle of American exchange students as they spend a year abroad in Paris. Some fall in love, some get drunk, some run wild, some study hard. Everyone learns at least one lesson. When Euro bombshell Marie-France Pisier, as instructor Madame Catherine Tessier, busts out her topless fun-baguettes, be prepared to have an Eiffel Tower in your pants. Boobs-la-la!

HURRICANE (1979)
STUDIO: Legend Films
NUDES: Mia Farrow (left breast) (Picture: 1), Ariirau Tekurarere (breasts, butt) (Picture: 1)
THE SKINNY: When erotic upstart Charlotte Bruckner (Mia Farrow) starts up a torrid affair with a native chief in Bora Bora (Dayton Ka'ne) right under the nose of her stern Navy-officer father (Jason Robards) in Hurricane, there's tempestuous trouble brewing. And not just one kind, because a tropical storm forming off the island threatens to wash them all out to kingdom come. This legendarily troubled Dino De Laurentis-produced disaster flick features skin from the former Mrs. Sinatra, along with some of the lovely local color. Look out for a high-pressure system in your pants . . . and that don't blow!

MAN, WOMAN AND CHILD (1983)
STUDIO: Legend Films
NUDE: Nathalie Nell (breasts, butt) (Picture: 1)
THE SKINNY: Love Story author Erich Segal adapts his own screenplay in the romantic drama Man, Woman and Child. Martin Sheen portrays an upright citizen who's happily married to Blythe Danner. Together, they have two offspring and a lovely home. All's square and groovy in their lives until a melancholy French boy (Sebastian Dungan) emerges in the wake of his own mom's death. It turns out the kid was accidentally fathered by Sheen on a trip years earlier, and now he's got no place to hang his beret. Blythe is understandably upset about the new arrival, but if only she could see the topless Parisian pastries of Nathalie Nell-le junior's mom, whom we get a great naked gander at in flashblack-she'd understand how Martin couldn't help but get departin' from his marriage vows.

PARTNERS (1982)
STUDIO: Legend Films
NUDES: Robyn Douglass (breasts) (Picture: 1), Iris Albanti (breasts) (Picture: 1)
THE SKINNY: The clash of straight and gay is presented with shades of blue in Partners. This comic social commentary aims to show that the cops who protect and serve the general populace are often people just like everybody else. What's more, they occasionally do come from alternative-lifestyle segments. As Partners opens, there has been a rash of homosexual murders, resulting in a robustly heterosexual homicide dick being ordered to dive deep under glamour-boy cover and take a mild-mannered desk-job Nelly along as his guide. The killer, make no mistake, will be brought to justice, and in the process a trucks- and trollop-loving stud will gain a whole new appreciation for men whose sensibilities run toward interior decorating and knitting. Naked female body parts spice up the sights, making Partners an equal-opportunity entertainment.

SERIAL (1980)
STUDIO: Legend Films
NUDES: Sally Kellerman (breasts) (Picture: 1), Patch Mackenzie (breasts) (Picture: 1), Tuesday Weld (right breast) (Picture: 1), uncredited actresses
THE SKINNY: Based on the satirical novel of the same name by Cyra McFadden, Serial is a take on the "I'm OK, You're OK" culture of the nuts and fruits state, California. The fruits here are bran-eating, wife-swapping, and cult-joining types sure to help drain viewers' nuts. Peter Bonerz is a coke-sniffing psychiatrist who tells a ten-year-old to get in touch with his inner child. That's the level of humor here, and the many plotlines are too wacky to get into. But who wouldn't want to get into Sally Kellerman, who plays the opposite of her uptight character Hot Lips O'Houlihan in M*A*S*H (1970)? She flashes her perky pair and is the most whack-off-able in this movie of whack-offs. But don't forget Patch Mackenzie, who doesn't show off her patch but does have a nice pair of Mackenzies in this, her only skin onscreen. Decades later, the online phenomenon StuffWhitePeopleLike.com would pick up where Serial left off, only with way less hot female nudity.

SEX AND DEATH 101
STUDIO: Anchor Bay Entertainment
NUDES: Winona Ryder (breasts) (Picture: 1), Sophie Monk (breasts, butt) (Picture: 1), Pollyanna McIntosh (breasts) (Picture: 1), Jessica Kiper (breasts, thong) (Picture: 1)
THE SKINNY: The uproarious black comedy Sex and Death 101 features Simon Baker as a soon-to-be-married man who receives a troubling email that lists the names of every woman he has ever and will ever sleep with. '90s waif Winona Ryder goes topless for only the second time in her career as a vigilante calling herself Death Nell who hunts down men guilty of sex crimes and puts them into comas, and not in a fun way. The winsome Ms. Ryder has never been more worthy of her name than when she jiggles her D-cups proudly while making out on the bed with our hero. And he is definitely our hero, because no man has been able to coax out the Ryder rosebuds since vegetarian Buddhist mega-hunk Richard Gere in Autumn in New York (2000). If this is what they're teaching, sign us all up for Sex and Death 101!