Mr. Skin’s DVD Pick of the Week
Assassination of a High School President (2008)
NUDE: Mischa Barton (breasts)
The dark comedy Assassination of a High School President (2008) stars Reece Thompson as a reporter on the school newspaper who uncovers a vast and evil conspiracy after he mistakenly accuses student-body president and popular jock Patrick James Taylor of stealing a stack of SAT tests. Mischa Barton appears as the disgraced jock’s girlfriend who mysteriously starts making moves on Reece after her boyfriend’s fall from grace. Mischa gets a B average in Toplessness 101 when she bares both boobs in the tub three separate times. If she stood up, she could raise her grade (among other things).
NUDE: Faye Dunaway (breasts)
A movie that plays out like a political thriller, a fever-pitched story of doomed romance gone inevitably awry, a gritty private-eye noir, and a harrowing indictment of one rich man’s absolute power and absolute corruption, Chinatown (1974) is a complex and subtle weave of characters, motives, circumstances, and conflicts. A plot summary seems simple enough: A two-bit Shamus is tricked into exposing the vulnerability of a moral man who stands in the way of an immoral opportunist, unraveling a scheme to bilk the taxpaying populace of Los Angeles out of many millions of dollars during the expansion of that nascent city into a sprawling megalopolis. Also, a wealthy bastard has used his beautiful daughter as a breeding mare. This description is like saying the Mona Lisa is a painting of a smiling woman. Chinatown is a challenging and absorbing entertainment. Its rewards and insights are as deep and stunning as those to be gleaned from the very best literature.
Crazy as Hell (2002)
STUDIO: First Look
NUDE: Tracy Pettit (butt), Tia Texada (breasts)
For his directorial debut, actor Eriq La Salle gave himself quite the role in Crazy as Hell (2002). He plays a mental patient who claims to be the devil. He may be crazy as hell—or not—but as the helmsman of this thriller he’s absolutely in control. While he only gets some panty-up-the-crack seat meat from asylum inmate Tracy Pettit, he does manage to lure Tia Texada’s Pettits to come out in a dark sex scene. He even casts himself as her bedlam lover. Such sacrifices he makes.
Ghost Ship (2002)—Blu-Ray
STUDIO: Warner Bros.
NUDE: Francesca Rettondini (breasts, butt)
In Ghost Ship (2002), a salvage team led by captain Gabriel Byrne has discovered a wrecked ship off the Alaskan coastline. It's the Antonia Graza, a famous Italian ocean liner that vanished in 1962. As the crew starts repairing the ship to bring it back to port, some weird shit starts happening. Julianna Margulies is a stiff-nipped salvage expert who doesn't get spooked easily, but even she knows something evil has taken control of the ship. With this many hot women running all over the ocean liner, it's only a matter of time before they're overrun by seamen!
Hot Springs Hotel (1997-1998)
STUDIO: Taurus Entertainment
NUDE: Sabrina Allen (breasts, butt), Avalon Anders (breasts), Babette Bardot (breasts), Kirstine Carlstrand (breasts, bush), C.C. Costigan (breasts, butt), Diana Cuevas (breasts), Sherry Eckert (breasts), Deborah Ferrari (breasts), Glori Gold (breasts, butt), Lauren Hays (breasts), Racquel Krupsaw (breasts), Darlene Margolis (breasts, butt), Deanna Merryman (breasts, butt), Miyoko (breasts), Linda O'Neil (breasts, butt), Samantha Phillips (breasts, butt), Amy Rochelle (FFN, butt), Deborah Seligman (breasts), Sondra St. Cyr (breasts), Orly Tepper (breasts, bush, butt), Christiva Turner (breasts, butt), Vickie Vogel (breasts, butt)
Busty babes Samantha Phillips and Glori Gold star in the Showtime sex comedy series Hot Springs Hotel. The titular hotel, run by Samantha and her brother (Robert Vitelli), is the setting for non-stop sexual escapades featuring dozens of fully naked late-night-cable babes. They're hot, and you'll spring!
It's Alive (2009)
STUDIO: First Look
NUDE: Bijou Phillips (body double—breasts)
Bijou Phillips stars in It's Alive (2008), the remake of Larry Cohen’s 1974 horror classic of the same name. Bijou is Lenore Harker, a woman who gives birth to a monstrous baby that immediately devours every doctor in the room after being born, then quickly gets hungry for more. There are three boob flashes here, but before you start looking down and saying “It’s alive,” keep in mind that those milk jugs are a body double’s, not Bijou’s. It’s a lie!
King of the Ants (2003)
STUDIO: First Look
NUDE: Kari Wuhrer (FFN, butt)
From the twisted mind of Stuart Gordon, of Re-Animator (1985) fame, comes the even more disturbing King of the Ants (2003). It tells the story of a housepainter's genesis into a killer thanks to the mentoring of a sadistic mobster played by Cheers beer belly George Wendt. He’s certainly not Norm in this bizarre story. How weird does it get? Well, Kari Wuhrer shows up as the sexy siren who always ends up nude in this type of drama, and she does shows off her quite wonderful pair and buns. But there’s one scene that may put you off your joint. That’s when she’s topless and the camera pans down to reveal a hairy penis between her legs. If that’s the king of the ants, it’s time for a palace revolt!
The Number 23 (2007)—Blu-Ray
STUDIO: New Line
NUDE: Virginia Madsen (body double—breasts, butt)
The Number 23 (2007) stars Jim Carrey as a dog catcher who gets caught up in a numerological mystery that ends up doing a number on his head. On his birthday, he finds his wife—perfect 10 Virginia Madsen—in a bookstore browsing through a novel called The Number 23. She buys it for him, and as he reads it he becomes increasingly captivated by its central theme: the strange connection of all events to the number 23. He begins to dream about the novel, seeing himself as its detective protagonist, and starts discovering the number 23 popping up everywhere in his life. Soon he's searching for information about the author (named Topsy Kretts) and the truth behind its tale, believing that The Number 23 might not be fiction at all. Ginny and their son try to help Jim out as he grows increasingly obsessed, all the while growing ever closer to the truth.
Snakes on a Plane (2006)—Blu-Ray
STUDIO: New Line
NUDE: Samantha McLeod (breasts)
Samuel L. Jackson wants these motherfuckin' snakes off this motherfuckin' plane! That should be pretty much all anyone needs to know about the much-joked-about, dizzyingly high-camp hit Snakes on a Plane (2006). But beyond the slithering reptiles, beyond the airborne hysterics, beyond super-cop Sam Jackson's obscenity-enflamed tirades, Snakes on a Plane is also replete with succulent Samantha McLeod baring her cumulus twosome as she attempts to enter the Mile High Club. And that'll make you Samuel L. Jack-off!
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