SKINcoming DVDs for September 30, 2008

Each Tuesday, be sure to check in with Mr. Skin to get the complete skinny right here on the hottest DVD releases. Here is the randy round-up for the week of September 30, 2008.

THE 40-YEAR-OLD VIRGIN (2005)
STUDIO: Universal Pictures
NUDES: Catherine Keener (right nip slip) (Picture-1), Jamie Elle Mann (breasts) (Picture-1), Kimberly Page (right breast) (Picture-1), Stormy Daniels (FFN) (Picture-1), Laura Bottrell (breasts) (Picture-1)
THE SKINNY: The summer of 2005 may well be remembered as the return of the R-rated hit, thanks to blockbusters such as The Wedding Crashers (2005). The nudity, bad taste, and drug-addled humor continue with The 40-Year-Old Virgin. The title says it all, and the drama here is will he or won't he? It becomes the sole goal of his co-workers to get Steve Carell laid. That means picking up drunken chicks that vomit on him, hooking up with a tranny hooker, and sharing their private stash of porno. He practices his newfound technique on blonde cutie Elizabeth Banks, who ends up masturbating with her shower massager for him, but it's Catherine Keener who has his heart-on. Along the way, there's lots of booty seen on TV, and one booby escapes during a speed-dating class. Does Carell pop his cherry? Mr. Skin won't spoil it, but you'll certainly pop something.

BLACK MAGIC RITES (1972)
STUDIO: Redemption Films
NUDES: Rita Calderoni (breasts) (Picture-1), Christa Barrymore (breasts) (Picture-1)
THE SKINNY: Italian horror-meister Renato Polselli (Delirium) probes the realm where occult practices meet naked Euro hotties and wild sex in the psychedelic fright-fest Black Magic Rites. Although set in contemporary times, Black Magic Rites is rife with spellbinding flashbacks to medieval sorcery and nude female sacrifices. Robust beauty Rita Calderoni dazzlingly embodies Isabella, a vampiric witch to whom modern worshippers make blood offerings before turning into succubus types themselves. Black Magic Rites will conjure the flames of the underworld in your pants.

THE BLOOD SPATTERED BRIDE (1972)
STUDIO: Blue-Underground.com
NUDES: Alexandra Bastedo (breasts) (Picture-1), Maribel Martín (FFN)
THE SKINNY: A landmark of 1970s horror, the occult Spanish chiller The Blood Spattered Bride tells of a newlywed who seeks assistance from an evil adviser. Maribel Martín stars as Susan, a nubile eighteen-year-old virgin who agrees to marry a dashing and more experienced older man (Simon Andreu). Her new husband proves more lascivious than she can handle, however, causing Susan to seek the advice of Carmila (Alexandra Bastedo), a mysterious interloper who’s the descendant of a vengeful female killer. Carmila’s tutelage proves destructive, as she seduces the innocent bride and forces her to commit unspeakably violent acts. Fortunately both heroines flash plenty of flesh when getting their hands dirty, though teen Martín sadly opts for a body double.

DAUGHTERS OF DARKNESS (1971)
STUDIO: Blue-Underground.com
NUDES: Andrea Rau (FFN, butt) (Picture-1), Danielle Ouimet (breasts) (Picture-1)
THE SKINNY: Danielle Ouimet is on her honeymoon with John Karlen in Daughters of Darkness—but she doesn’t know that the “mother” he’s taking her home to is actually a creepy male associate. That plot never really develops, though, since fabulous older woman Delphine Seyrig steps in to seduce the bride. She wants to suck her blood—among other things—while Delphine’s young companion Andrea Rau is happy to distract the new hubby. This atmospheric film is considered to be a minor horror classic, but Danielle, Delphine, and Andrea also make it a real landmark in skinema.

DAWN OF THE DEAD—BLU-RAY (1978)
STUDIO: AnchorBayEntertainment.com
NUDES: Gaylen Ross (left breast)
THE SKINNY: Horror maestro George A. Romero follows up his apocalyptic milestone Night of the Living Dead (1968) ten years later with the full-color, volcanically gory, relentlessly terrifying Dawn of the Dead. As zombies run rampant over the entire planet, a horde of human survivors holes up in a shopping mall to do battle with the shuffling flesh eaters. Pushing violence to never-before-endured heights, Dawn of the Dead hit theaters without an MPAA rating (to avoid the dreaded “X” of the time), yet it is brilliantly executed enough to be hailed by even the snootiest of critics for its bold perspectives, ruthless suspense, and subtle satire. Adding a dash of sex to all the carnage is Gaylen Ross, who flashes her left breast. To describe Gaylen's half bosom as appetizing may seem strange in this context . . . but, at the same time, completely appropriate.

FORGETTING SARAH MARSHALL (2008)
STUDIO: Universal Pictures
NUDES: Mila Kunis (breasts—BODY DOUBLE)
THE SKINNY: Jason Segel is jilted boyfriend Peter Bretter in the raunchy hit comedy Forgetting Sarah Marshall. When Jason takes a Hawaiian vacation to get over the titular girl (Kristen Bell) who dumped him, he finds himself staying at the same resort as Sarah and her new boyfriend. But things start looking up when he meets a permanently stoned surfing instructor (Paul Rudd) and, more importantly, a hot brunette named Racheal (Mila Kunis). Unfortunately Mila and Kristen stay clothed, so you can forget about seeing a pair-a-marbles in Sarah Marshall.

KNOCKED UP—BLU-RAY (2007)
STUDIO: Universal Pictures
NUDES: Stormy Daniels (breasts) (Picture-1), Nautica Thorn (breasts) (Picture-1), Emerson Riley (right breast) (Picture-1)
THE SKINNY: Knocked Up is a straight-up knock-out of a comedy: hilarious, moving, and, thanks to a female cast that's not afraid of nakedness, hot-hot-hot. Seth Rogen stars as Ben Stone, a pot-puffing goofball whose grand ambition is to launch—along with his spectacularly slackeriffic buddies—a website dedicated to chronicling every movie nude scene ever made. Hmmm . . . Obviously that's one skintastic idea, but Ben's best-laid plans go awry when he actually gets laid, courtesy of gorgeously curvaceous Katherine Heigl. She plays Alison Scott, an upright, thoroughly adult E! television reporter who has one cocktail too many, which leads to one Ben Stone in her bed too many and which, ultimately, leads to one positive pregnancy test too many. Knocked Up, then, showcases the efforts of Ben and Alison to overcome their differences as they cope with the unexpected during nine months of expecting. Lithe beauty Leslie Mann and funny, funny Paul Rudd make perfect comic foils in their roles of Alison's sister and brother-in-law, respectively, while, as Ben's wannabe internet skin-trepeneur pals, uproarious support comes from Jonah Hill, Jason Segel, Martin Starr, and Jay Baruchel. Written and directed by sharp, insightful auteur Judd Apatow (The 40-Year-Old Virgin [2005], TV's Freaks and Geeks), Knocked Up is the ultimate modern sex farce, supplying brains to go with the boobs and heart to back up the hijinks. It's beautiful, baby!

LOCKOUT (2006)
STUDIO: Polychrome
NUDES: Claire Davenport II (breasts) (Picture-1), Cyn Dulay (right breast)
THE SKINNY: The fright flick Lockout is a study in family dysfunction gone horrifically haywire. When Dan (Kris Desautels) loses his job, he takes his desperate-to-get pregnant wife Chris (Cyn Dulay) and her prostitute sister Rowena (Claire Davenport II) to a cabin in Wisconsin. Upon settling in, Dan gets bitten by a spider and his infection runs wild. Then one of Rowena’s clients shows up asking to indulge a grisly fetish, and all manner of unnerving doings ensue. Thanks to the two naked leading ladies, Lockout is one scream-fest that will also get your cock out.

POSSESSION (1981)
STUDIO: Blue-Underground.com
NUDE: Isabelle Adjani (breasts) (Picture-1)
THE SKINNY: The demons that occasionally inhabit us humans, do they infiltrate from outside the body, tracking down vulnerable hosts and then taking up a controlling position within the tortured, conflicted victim? Or are the evil spirits that propel us to our vilest, most destructive and hurtful behavior actually self-generated, emanating from the deepest recesses of subconsciousness and soul? Don’t expect to have those questions answered by the devilishly swirling and disturbed imagery of Possession, a simultaneously surreal and hyper-real, sexually charged fable of everyday life being intersected by realms of existence that lie beyond the scope of successful human exploration. Many are the doomed who are plunged to the depths, but those few who return are powerless to explain the torments they endure.

SALEM WITCH TRIALS (2002)
STUDIO: Echo Bridge Home Entertainment
NUDE: Shirley MacLaine (butt)
THE SKINNY: The two-part made-for-CBS movie Salem Witch Trials takes viewers back to those chilling (and flaming) seventeenth-century days when America’s European settlers got more than just a little hot under their stiff white collars in attempting to eradicate sorcery from among their ranks. Kirstie Alley stars as Goody Putnam, a local woman who takes umbrage with the apocalyptic preaching of Reverend Samuel Parris (Henry Czerny) and the mania he inspires. Understandably, Goody is reluctant to voice her concerns, as she fears that it will lead to her too being burned at the stake. Skinterestingly, real-life New-Age enthusiast Shirley MacLaine not only plays a devout Christian, she even flashes her butt crack. And that’ll put a broomstick in your pilgrim pants.