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Chad Michael Murray @ 3:46PM on November 9, 2009
"Oooh Ashton, I hope I'm not getting Punk'd....", "Shut up slut"

@Chad Michael Murray:

I'm sure I had car keys when I came in

@Chad Michael Murray:

ECHO...ECHO....ECHO.....

@Chad Michael Murray:

Mmmm... Chick-Fil-E...
BigHeathenMike @ 3:49PM on November 9, 2009
"Although her anticipation was as real as the coolness from the black marble of the counter-top, in the back of her mind was always, 'Why did I edge this in white?!'"
did i leave my camera in there?
"Wow, it's almost like a woman!"
Little did she know that her gynecologist was farsighted.
"The ceiling needs painting."
Wow. Now I understand why so many women go on Craigslist to get this treatment. Amazing.
MonkeyBusiness @ 3:52PM on November 9, 2009
OK, Anne, where was the last place you had them...?
"I know I left my keys SOMEWHERE."
"Thank God I wore the thigh high pantyhose, humm I really need more mirrors on my ceiling...o crap did i shave?!?"
" Sorry about that. I had beans for lunch"
"If you lived here, you'd be home by now."
"Now hum "I am Woman"! "
“Dude, Where's My Tongue?”
“Anne Heche gets punk'd.”
“Who ordered the cougar burger?”
“But does Ashton lick Demi more?”
I really needed a little face time with my guy."
"Tastes like chicken."

Sorry about that one, couldn't resist. :-)
"And YOU wanted to "order out". "
"I could of swore I left my wedding ring in here"
"Oh sweet mystery of life, at last I've found you....again."
Man this guy could definitely teach ellen a thing or two! I knew I wasn't a lezbo!!!!!!!
"Oh Lawdy."
"I even watched "Men in Trees". "

I did, I REALLY like Anne Heche. :-)
"How many licks does it take to get to the center of Anne Heche?"
Am I better than Ellen????
"This is a tongue-twister I learned from my diction coach."
"Ahh, young love!"
"Just remember to pull out in time."
"I love it when an Anne comes together!"
"NOW I know why Demi's always smiling."
"Riiiiiiiicolaaaaaaaaaaaa!"
"Holy Crap! I get PAID for this!"
Ooohhh my God... I see aliens.. did you find your gum yet?

(being the psycho dingbat that Anne Heche is)

- Marc
NudeMoon.com (skin affiliate)
"No, seriously, we NEED another take. (I was SO close)"
"On a clear day, you can see forever."
"It looks like a pearl."
"It's good to see an actor earning respect by getting down in the trenches."
"How come we never talk anymore?"
"It was a split decision."
"Is the camera on?"
"See, first I say ACTION!, THEN you....."
"Sponsored by V8"

@mikkj1:

I Shoulda had a V8!
"Ashton and Anne, splitting the difference."
"And as an entree.."
"Would you like a napkin?"

Have I tripped the Spam software yet?
Christopher Kowalsky Sr. @ 10:08PM on November 9, 2009

@mikkj1:

Do you really think this will INCREASE your chances of winning the competition? Or should I say BLOWING away the competition?

I don't know if you'll trip the spam software or not, but you're sure tipping the scales in quantity of words put into one blog for MrSkin.com. That's an all-time new record. Somewhere Guinness is looking you up right now for a spot in their World Records book.
McBeardo of McBeardo.com (Skinployee) @ 8:56AM on November 10, 2009

@Christopher Kowalsky Sr.:

Chris and MIKKJ1:

There are NO limits on how many entries a single participant can post.

If something looks like spam or is utterly unusable (nonsense words, etc), we will delete.

But MIKKJ1's batting average is way over .500, with quite a few real gems among his output.

Both of you -- and everyone else out there -- should keep these captions coming!
Christopher Kowalsky Sr. @ 4:30PM on November 10, 2009

@McBeardo of McBeardo.com:

Hey, you don't need to tell me all about it McBeardo, I know a few things about overposting, if such a thing is even possible, that is. I've had my fair share of epic-length comments that went on for DAYS it seems. I think I'll just take a backseat to this one and let others like MIKKJ1 have all the fun in posting nonstop.

I must admit though, it makes one keen and sharp in trying to keep up with each and every one, since they come in at such a resounding speed.
"What some guys will do, to keep from saying "I Love You.". "
"When I said "Don't give me any lip.' it wasn't a challenge."
"Speading the love."

O.K., I'm done for a while ;-)

@mikkj1:

That's supposed to be "Spreading the love."
Christopher Kowalsky Sr. @ 10:05PM on November 9, 2009

@mikkj1:

Have your fingers gotten tired of typing yet? Or are you maybe mouthing off and having somebody else type the words for you?
"Don't tell my mom, I mean my wife"
"I'm allergic to Roast Beef Lips"
"I Know Who You Ate Last Summer"
"I forgot what a moist vagina felt like"
I rather eat out to night, res. are already made!
"Hmm. Did I forget to pick up the diapers for Demi"
"I swear it was only a queef"
"Damn I thought you were the one who played Fez"
"No Ellen, your watch isn't in here, either!"
"Only thing left on my list is a midget"
"Got it Ma'am. It was just your pilot light"
"That's one worn out pussy. How big was Ellen' dildo"
Christopher Kowalsky Sr. @ 5:50PM on November 9, 2009
"So this is what a used pussy tastes like. I can taste all the action you've had in here Anne. It's a shame my wife's snatch hasn't gotten as much action as yours. I mean, it's no secret you've had men AND women."
You just cured my asthma.
"Excuse me, but i think i left my career in here."
You've got something on your face.
"Dude, where's my car?"
...and for the 3rd time in a row , he failed his CPR test.
"How to pass a Lip Reading course"
1. "How to play the spread."

2. "How to beat the spread."
"Spread" - sequel to "The Vagina Monologues". "
"When you said you were bi-lingual, you weren't kidding!"
"No, he isn't leaving Demi, he's just splitting for work."
"The REAL "All you can eat" buffet."
"How to make friends and influence people."
"O.K., I believe you - she was just a friend."
"Diamonds are a girls best friend, but cunnilingus is cheaper."
"Assume the position and spread 'em!"
"Please don't try this at home - we're professionals."
"In "Spread", the line between "art" and "life" becomes as indistinct as Ashton's face."
"Contains sexually redeeming content."
1. "How to fail a Lamaze class."

2. "How to fail a Lamaze class - unless this is the teacher."
"Stop mumbling and breath through your nose."
"Anne Heche - the best excuse for a nose job I've ever seen."
"Do you swallow?"
"Whistle while you work"
"Ashton Kutcher laps the competition."

I intend to win on volume. :-)
Christopher Kowalsky Sr. @ 10:03PM on November 9, 2009

@mikkj1:

Hey, who can argue with that? At least we know you're human after all. I was beginning to think we had a bot on here.
"It's a dirty job, but somebody's gotta do it - Like ME, ME, ME!"
"Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray ... Oh God!, Oh God!, Oh God!"
"I'm not usually into this kind of stuff."
"Maybe I should get a REAL job - HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"Ashton forgets who's the "Top". "
"The things we do for our art. Heh"
" "Don't look at the camera." "We're FILMING this?!" "
"Finally, a guy who loves ME for ME."
"Tongue balm is not a tax deductible expense."
"The East European judge scored Ashtons dive a 5.4, while the French judge gave it a 10.0"
"We WILL get muff diving AND softball as Olympic competitions!"
"Eat this Greg Louganis - if you can!"
word of the day; Legs,Spread the word
"At the end of lap four, Ashton raised his baton in victory."
"Why Clams are so expensive."
Christopher Kowalsky Sr. @ 8:14PM on November 9, 2009
I already put my two cents in somewhere in all these jumbled comments, so this has nothing to do with the picture or a caption, but MIKKJ1 is determined to win. The majority of the comments appear to be his.
"In the next shot we do WHAT?!"
"Ashton Kiutcher - In Praise of Older Women."

Really, gotta give him some credit, here.
"Ashton Kutcher confirms his good taste in women."
"If Anne Heche were any hotter, Ashtons hair would be on fire."
Christopher Kowalsky Sr. @ 8:18PM on November 9, 2009
No offense, but personally, I think he's going overboard on the comments. I was already criticized in the past for posting one too many times.

@Christopher Kowalsky Sr.:

Sorry, Christopher, but it's a competition. If I think of them, I'm going to post them.
Christopher Kowalsky Sr. @ 10:01PM on November 9, 2009

@mikkj1:

Yeah, it sure looks that way. Knock yourself out.
"Dinner is served!"
"Scene 12, take 69! C'Mon Anne, stop screwing around!"
Christopher Kowalsky Sr. @ 8:24PM on November 9, 2009
Are we sure this MIKKJ1 isn't a bot invading the comments forum? How can ONE person post every minute -- literally?

@Christopher Kowalsky Sr.:

I know. I got a million of 'em. :-)
Christopher Kowalsky Sr. @ 10:01PM on November 9, 2009

@mikkj1:

I'll bet, but I think I lost count after a thousand. :-)
"The key to a scene like this is commitment. That, and Anne Heche with her legs spread."
"Filming was halted for several hours while Anne got the smile off her face, and Ashton could speak again."
"Google search: Sprained Tongue"
"Anne shows Ashton "The Blind Side". "
"This is great, but we're still going to talk."
"Cut! Cut! CUT!"
"The perfect reason to not use body doubles."
"You're only as old as the women you feel."
"The money for this movie wasn't great, but it was all I could afford."
"Are you SURE this is good for a sore throat?"
Yummy, Sushi sure is fresh tonight!
"Introducing the latest muppet - The Cookie Muncher."
"Ashton thanks Anne Heche for being Anne Heche."
"You see, son, when a man loves a woman very much, he puts his tongue...."

I'm running out christopher, you can relax. :-) I'm a bit of a writer, and when my head gets locked on to a particular scenario, all the possible permutations pop up.
Christopher Kowalsky Sr. @ 2:06AM on November 10, 2009

@mikkj1:

I know a thing or two about writing myself and I must say, you sure were on a roll there. I thought it would never end with your rapid fire barrage of comments. I guess it's safe to say that we can all let out a sigh of relief that you've run out of steam . . . probably just for Monday anyway.
Is this what you meant by ordering takeout?
"Hey, you know, you're right... I CAN hear the ocean!"
I am almost done filling my Anne Heche blow up doll.
Wow this is cool, we don't have lesbians in Iowa!
Ashton Kutcher...Going where no man has gone before!
Maybe eating Anne Heche out would throw the scent off the gay trail.
I think I found the continuum transfunctioner!!!!
Ashton demonstrates the latest in CPR techniques
Hello….Hello….Hello….Hello…Hello…Hello….
"At the call of ACTION!, Ashton got into the scene lickety-split."
"Just like a woman, but no beard!"

Sorry Ellen, Anne - big fan. ;-)
"Anne helps Ashton bone up for his oral Braille exam."
"After a couple of hits, Ashton got the munchies."
"Dining at the "Y". "
"When you invited me for dinner, I didn't expect such a spread."
"If i move my hips a little to the...oooo yea thats the spot"
"Nom, nom, nom!" (google it)
"I wonder if he gives rim jobs...."
"The snack that smailes back Goldfsh, damnit i wish i didnt have the tv on, now i cant cons........o mabey i can if he keeps that up"
"Oh, Ellen, er, I mean Bill."
And you thought "Spread" was about a house.
"When you two are done "running your lines", you're needed on set."
"You're SURE this will get me a role on "V"? "
"Vagina - low in cholesterol, high in fiber."
yes I am sure i lost my contact lens here.
"What is the lighting tech laughing at?"
"oh Honey our ceiling needs painting"
"And for my next number.. the trumpet solo from Hello Dolly."
It's ironic where they put the blow up tubes on these new dolls.
The new Viewmaster is AWESOME!!!!!!
Right foot blue! Left hand green! Tell Demi we're still playing Twister and that I'll call her back!
"So that's what a Vagina looks loike, Demi won't show me hers..."
Mr. Skin (Skinployee) @ 2:08PM on November 10, 2009
Thanks everyone. We're laughing our asses off here at the skin offices. Please keep them coming!

@Mr. Skin:

Thanks, but I need to get a life - got one? :-)
Christopher Kowalsky Sr. @ 4:21PM on November 10, 2009

@Mr. Skin:

Oh, you can be sure they'll keep on coming and coming and coming and . . .
"In the Head Start program, young men get plenty of face time with their instructors."
"My daughter is gonna be PISSED!"
"Ashton and Anne launch "The Piece Corps."
"If you think that this makes up for your being late....you're right."
"No, you may NOT leave the table till you lick that clean, young man!"
"Seafood is an important part of a healthy diet."
"Tongue Cramp! Tongue Cramp!"

@mikkj1:

Or, more properly -

"Thumg cwamp! Thung cwamp!"
"There are many uses for Super Glue."
"A vacuum cleaner salesman demonstrates the effectiveness of his product."
Anne Heche has a VERY comprehensive Health Care plan."
"The lost Rock Hudson/Doris Day scene."
"Next time, could you bring Demi?"
"Gay, Bi, Straight - oral sex is the universal language."
"Once more unto the breach, dear friends,"
"You're welcome, come again."
"The cable company strives to improve customer service."
"At times like this, the limitations of technlogy become crystal clear."
"A clot? A clat? Cripes! It's on the tip of my tongue!"
"Fava Beans and a nice Chianti? Sure."
"PLEASE let me take my panties off!"
"A paramedic applies "The Jaws of Life". '
dinner, my favorite meal of the day!!!!
oh my god! that was awesome, you just squirted in my eye!!!!
"Eat THIS, all you young actresses who won't do nudity! No, SERIOUSLY!"
"I could eat."

Anne Heche has always inspired me. :-)
"Time spent at the Community College finally pays off."
Christopher Kowalsky Sr. @ 4:20PM on November 10, 2009
Are you guys at Skin Central REALLY keeping up with all these comments? I think I lost my place about a hundred comments ago.
Michael Faulkner @ 6:26PM on November 10, 2009
"If Ellen did this and got a talk show, I wonder what I will get out of it"
Ooooh Ellen my sweet Ellen. Hurry before Rossi gets here.
Oooooh Ellen my sweet sweet Ellen. When will Rossi
be here oooooooo.
Damn Ellen you forgot to shave again bitch.
"Just another day in the San Fernando Valley."
"O.K., now for the "money shot". "
I know damn well I put the turkey on this table. I've looked everywhere but here.
OMFG! That's not cranberry sauce!
"If you open your mouth one more time, I swear I'll scream!"
Christopher Kowalsky Sr. @ 7:54PM on November 10, 2009
I see MIKKJ1 is still at it and having the time of his life doing it too.

If it was my decision, I would declare this contest over and make MIKKJ1 the winner by TKO.
" "The Vagina Whisperer" calms another agitated client."
"You taste damn good!"
"My High School Guidance Instructor was right!"
"Ashton graduates Magna Cum Laude in Oral Communications."
"And if you're nice, next time I'll hide my Mr. Skin password in the other end."
"What some people will do for a Spread in Mr. Skin."
"Anne Heche ceases to worry about her career choices."
KopyguardKevin @ 10:20PM on November 10, 2009
Ok, I've been away for far too long and had to chime in. What the hell is up with Anne's armpit? Is he licking or inhaling?
"Deeper!"
"I don't know, Doctor. I remember going down a dark tunnel...."
"Is that a banana in your mouth, or are you just glad to see me?"
"I can see my house from here!"
"Ashton Kutcher tries "The Other White Meat". "
"Are you SURE this is the script for "Six Days, Seven Nights"? "
"Exhausted, Ashton tries faking an orgasm."
"Frankly, my dear, I don't give a dental damn!"

@mikkj1:

Damn - "Dental Dam"
For the literary types:

1. "Anne of a Thousand Lays"

2. "Anne of Green Gobbles"

3. "I thought you said - "Emily's Dick and Son."
"Yet again, Ashton falls for the oldest trick in the book."

My apologies. :-)
"Due to the economic downturn, the prizes for The Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes have been changed."
"Cunnilingus means never having to say you're sorry."
"Et go uf my thung!"
"I didn't know you were Chewish!"
"Go with the flow, Ashton."
"Ashton thinks: "I didn't need that soul anyways." "
"A diet high in Anne Heche can cure erectile dysfunction. Contact your doctor immediately if you experience an erection lasting for more than four hours, as this can cause unreasonable expectations in your partner."
"The "Make a Wish" Foundation makes another kids dream come true."
"Here we see Cousteau as he observes the rare Bearded Clam."
"Take my wife...Please!"

Thanks, Henny.
Sneezing...it makes it all worth it!
"My compliments to the chef."
"Intrepid reporter Ashton Kutcher sniffs out a juicy story."
"The latest picture from the set of the Jaws remake."
"Honey I'm home!"

@obscured21:

"Honey I'm home!"

You didn't have to say it twice!

"I didn't...didn't...didn't" (Echo)
Taste's Great, Less Filling
john_sbm_1960_mgm @ 9:09AM on November 11, 2009
Forget "sweet & sour." This is plain, "Sweet."
"Spread" eagle but tastes like chicken
Dave submission #1

"My God! It's full of stars! B through D list stars, but look at how many of them!"
Dave submission #2

Yep, there it it is. My dignity. Thanks for keeping it safe for me. What's with all the cars?
"
Yeah, I'd like a Whopper with cheese - hold the pickle."
"Dive, Dive!, Dive!"
"Anne thinks: "Do I tip for this?" "
"Ashtom Kutcher - Newest member of "Doctors Without Boundaries". "
'You"ll eat what's on the table, and like it!"
Anne is a major supporter of "Feed the Children". "
Hello, Hello, Hello
"Can you hear me now?"
"ACTING!"

For the SNL fans. :-)
I think you fetus just bit my nose
"Ashton convinces Anne to stay home and watch the game."
Hay look what I found, a lady’s watch with "Ellen DeGeneres" engraved on it.
Sure hope I can find my keys, I got to get out of here!
"Oh look there's a dinosaur...oh oh now I see birds...and here is a toy story picture. Best Viewmaster ever!"
Christopher Kowalsky Sr. @ 5:40PM on November 11, 2009
@MIKKJ1: Dude, you're gonna win, there's no question about it, but man, I can't believe you haven't run out of ideas yet. What keeps you going? You're like the Energizer bunny -- you just keep going and going and going and . . .

I say you're going to win, because there's no way Skin Central is going to go against you and pick somebody else. That would be worse than making you do all that hard work for nothing. Am I right or am I right?

@Christopher Kowalsky Sr.:

I probably won't win. I'm just having some fun. :-)
Christopher Kowalsky Sr. @ 3:49AM on November 12, 2009

@mikkj1:

And having fun is what it's all about.
Christopher Kowalsky Sr. @ 8:04PM on November 11, 2009
There are so many captions on here, I don't even know what's been said and what hasn't been said, but let me try one anyway just for the hell of it.

"Angel, open wide your pearly gates to Heaven. I want to taste the rainbow."

I know -- corny, but that's because all the masterful ones have already been taken by MIKKJ1.
"Romper stomper bomper boo. Tell me, tell me, tell me do, Magic Mirror tell me today, did all my friends have fun at play?..I see Ellen, I see Richard, I see David, I see Lindsey, I see Coley, I see James....wait, only one chick?

Oh well, Bend and stretch, reach for the sky..."
Do you understand the words coming out of my mouth?!? Read my lips...
"you applied the super glue where...?"
Anne Heche experiences the most difficult childbirth in Human history!
I AM ASHTON, KING OF THE MUSTACHE RIDERS!!!!!!
Hey, I can see my house from here!
Anne Heche, Ashton's new beard...
Ashton considers gynecology, since it is a wide open field
"You know, I always thought it was just Demi, but it really does taste better with age!"
I love it when you Twatter.
It would take 6 days, 7 nights to cover all of this......and a nice Ford.
Hmmmm....tastes like Nemo
"like my new telescope? With a few adjustments I can see Uranus"
"nope, still nothing."
Smells like chicken tonight, chicken tonight!
Oh, God I really need to paint that ceiling!
I know my contact lens is in here some where.
thats not what I meant when I said I brought you a spicy tuna roll.
And this is called the sloppy half nelson.
Do I still have to buy you dinner?
so do you come here often?
If I lose this "who can keep from cumming the longest" bet to Aston, he'll have me eating out Demi for a month! Pi = 3.1471......
Ashton - "Why do you keep asking me if i have seen the movie Teeth?"
"Are you sure you don't see my career? I'm pretty sure I left it down there."
Spread! Ha ha! Get it? I love it when they act out the title in a movie!
Now thats what i call an all you can eat SPREAD buffet!!!!!!!
Joseph Tamburelli @ 5:31PM on November 12, 2009
Hey!! I can see my house from here!
Christopher Kowalsky Sr. @ 7:39PM on November 12, 2009
Nothing from MIKKJ1 on Thursday? This is shocking! :-)
" I have the Benjamin Button disease."
"Being the dedicated salesman he was, he showed her just how sturdy this table was."
"Sorry, dear - that popping sound was my bubblegum popping"
"Look Ma - No cavaties!!!"
About 3 more puffs and my blow up doll will be complete...
Rose - I think I found the "heart of the ocean"...
New CPR mouth to mouth procedure...
"Bruce Wayne looking for a new location for the Batcave."
I'm pretty sure I left my new Mr Skin's Skincyclopedia in here...
"Eating in is not as good as eating out."
"I just wanted to get on mrskin.com."
"I just love that new car smell"
"I cant believe it's not butter"
" While Ashton pleaded his case, "The Juror" was still undecided"
A new Guinness record for largest head inserted into a vagina.
"For the first time in Ashton's life nothing annoying came out of his mouth"
"Anne, the other white meat"
"Hey Ashton wrong hole........ I didn't say stop though"
Anne" I can't believe Jay Cutler threw 5 Interceptions. I just lost my fantasy league"
A retrospective:Ashton going down; faster then his career
Ashton "Did she just queef"
Anne "I hope he thought that was a queef"
"Anne I'm tired can I tag Topher Grace in"
" Now that's what I call room service"
"mmi mmove mmou"
Ashton and Anne demonstrating the proper position for server turbulence or emergency landing

@Andy:

crash landing

@Andy:

meant severe
"Cleanliness is next to godliness."
Boy ... this ceiling really needs painting ...
"less filling"!
" honey i'm not satisfied with your dick"
" what'll do?"
" use your head! "
" ok "
" mom are you there? "
" give me back my watch! "

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