Nude on DVD this week, we have a collection of horror, fantasy and thriller flicks to please skin-fans who like to walk on the wild side.
From the muff-diving heroine of The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest to the splatter of Saw: The Final Chapter to the skin-filled psychedelia of Enter the Void, it's a week of surprises and sweater-stuffers.
SAW: The Final Chapter AKA SAW 3D is the seventh installment in the horror franchise that turned us all into stiffs with full frontal nudity from Debra McCabe in Saw III, but hasn't shown so much as a bloody boob since then. This movie features the bloody end of franchise star and Mr. Skin Hall-of-Famer Betsy Russell, who’s shown skin in classic 80s movies likePrivate School, where she flashed boobs, butt, and bush at a lucky peeping tom. I thought I SAW a pussy cat!
Directed by controversial Irreversible director Gaspar Noé, the psychedelic supernatural sci-fi flick Enter the Void tells the story of an American drug dealer killed by police in Tokyo who becomes a ghost to watch over his damaged sister (Paz de la Huerta). Along with tons of trippy computer-generated special effects, we also get to see plenty of Paz's boobs, butt, and bush as she dances in clubs, makes out with a Japanese girl in a bathroom, and gets an abortion. If you like it raw, then don't avoid Enter the Void.
The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest
Nude on DVD, nakedly naughty Noomi Rapace returns as Lisbeth Salander in The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest. But if you're looking for the same level of nudity we've come to expect from Noomi in The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo and The Girl Who Played With Fire, prepare to get stung by this hornet's nest. The third film in the Millenium trilogy is last and least, when it comes to nudity from Noomi. An hour and 39 minutes in, there's a flashback with a flash of back-side. And two hours and 20 minutes in, we get another all-too-brief glimpse of the Rapace rump in the tub and that's it. Come on Noomi, how about showing those Swedish meatballs?
This week on DVD, Milla Jovovich goes back to her naked, naked ways in Stone, we get some virgin tit in The Virginity Hit, and a B-movie babe bares her B's in the Roger Corman Cult Classic Demon of Paradise.
Nude on DVD and Blu-ray, Milla Jovovich gives us our first confirmed sighting of her bare boobs since her skinterracial lesbian scene in the 2006 thriller .45 when she doffs her top in the Robert De Niro flick Stone. It all starts half an hour in, when we see Milla's cones as she talks on the phone and gives us a bone. Then at the 53-minute mark, Ms. Jovovich bares her niptastic knockerage in bed with De Niro. You'll turn to stone. In your pants.
Also nude on DVD, The Virginity Hit is a new kind of teen sex comedy that looks at boob in the age of Youtube. Most of the skin in this movie is seen on a computer screen, like when Savannah Welch appears fully frontal on a screen 33 minutes in and then topless on a cell phone one minute later. Adult actress Sunny Leone even makes a strangely non-nude mameo appearance topless on as the favorite porn star of a teenager who's desperate to get laid. With Sunny? Aren't we all?
Up from the Depths/Demon of Paradise
Also nude on DVD, Roger Corman's terror-at-the-beach cult classics Up from the Depths and Demon of Paradise are packaged together in one double feature. But the real double feature comes in Demon of Paradise when B-movie babe Leslie Huntly gets nude as some sexy fish food. Demon of Paradise will have you dreamin’ a pair-a-boobs!
This year, after three straight years of being handed Golden Globes in hopes that January Jones and Christina Hendricks would finally get the message and do a lesbian scene, or at least prove that Christina's luscious melons aren't themselves the products of Madison Avenue ad wizards, the run is over for AMC's Mad Men.
Show business people will tell you that being denied a Golden Globe is a humiliation second only to having your movie premiere switched from New York and Los Angeles to Sofia, Bulgaria, where it was filmed.
But that's what happened to Mad Men this year when the show's obstinate refusal to even let a nip slip or flash some ass and roll the dice on an FCC fine finally caught up to it.
John Hamm and his buddies went home defeated and empty-handed when nude kid on the block Boardwalk Empire took the Best TV Show award like candy from a baby, proving that the best way to spice up a period drama is nudity. Period.
If AMC can't figure out why HBO ruled and they drooled at the Golden Globes last night, then here it is. HBO gave us what they couldn't with Boardwalk Empire: nonstop nudity, lesbian sex scenes, and a fully frontal (and frontally full-furred) Paz de la Huerta.
Wrap it up, we'll take it.
A month ago, we reported that Charlotte Ross, who plays Quinn's MILFtastic mom on the Fox phenomenon Glee and whose T&A-baring shower scene in the 2003 season of the ABC cop drama NYPD Blue almost cost the network $1.4 million in FCC fines is going to be going full-frontal in 3D in Drive Angry.
But now one of our skin scouts has sneaked a peek at the upcoming action flick and has the full skinny on what kind of eye-popping T&A we can expect.
14 minutes in, Christa Campbell shows boobs, butt, and bush when Amber Heard drags her off of the dude she's screwing and starts beating the crap out of her.
At the 27-minute mark comes Charlotte's long-awaited full-frontal when she shows off her rack and bald beaver riding Nicholas's dickolas. Three minutes later, we get left tit from and a flash of can from Ms. Ross followed by another quick full frontal as she lies naked on the floor.
It's all in the red band clip rehere.
But the skin party's not over because one hour and twenty minutes in, hot-as-Hell Devil-worshipper Kimberly Shannon Murphy shows all three B's dancing on top of an RV and then again at 1:23 and 1:28.
May the glorious era of 3D nudity never end.
The Internet is abuzz with rumors that two extremely skin-friendly babes have been cast in the sequel that may be called The Dark Knight Rises—juggalicious Eva Green as villainess Talia al Ghul and booberiffic blond Naomi Watts as reporter Vicki Vale. Now that rumored title seems doubly appropriate.
But there's also word on the streets that those roles might be played by equally eye-popping talent like Keira Knightley, Anne Hathaway and Jessica Biel. Or even Charlotte Riley, Kate Mara or Gemma Arterton.
So far, the rebooted Batman franchise hs included Mr. Skin favorites Katie Holmes and Maggie Gyllenhaal, both in the role of Rachel Dawes. And based on the contenders for this movie, they're not trying to mess too much from the magic formula.
So don't be surprised to hear a little ping from the armor codpiece under Batman's utility piece when the Dark Knight really rises.
With Christmas right around the corner, time is running out to find some stocking stuffers for the skinema fan on your list. Luckily, Mr. Skin has made it easy for you by rounding up the best of this week's crop of DVDs and Blu-rays for holiday T&A, including Angelina Jolie in Salt and a fully frontal Tilda Swinton in the Blu-ray release of the arthouse flick Orlando.
T&A-lister and recent Golden Globe nominee Angelina Jolie doesn't show us her salt shakers in the spy thriller Salt, but in the opening scene we see Angelina in her bra and panties as she's being interrogated in a jail cell. If that doesn’t do it for you, you might want to check out Angelina's naked appearances in Original Sin, Taking Lives, and the skinstant classic Gia, where she goes lesbo with Elizabeth Mitchell. Have a holly Jolie Christmas!
Wall Street/Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps
Out in a DVD two-pack, it's this year's high-stakes financial drama Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps paired with the 1987 original Wall Street. Costars Carey Mulligan and Susan Sarandon are the actresses who never strip in Money Never Sleeps, so check the first film to see Suzen Murakoshi bare boobs, butt, and bush at the 13-minute mark. Now that's a good skinvestment!
Nude on Blu-ray, Tilda Swinton stars in the Virginia Woolf adaptation Orlando, the story of an Elizabethen nobleman who is ordered by the Queen to stay forever young who turns into hot babe a few centuries later. The transformation is complete at the 56-minute mark when Tilda goes fully frontal looking into a mirror. Nice skinton, Ms. Swinton!
Also nude on Blu-ray, Pierce Brosnan stars as a drunken, anxiety-ridden hit man who has to enlist the help of mild-mannered Greg Kinnear to pull off his last job in the 2005 arthouse hit The Matador. Mamtastic Mexican mamasita Azucena Medina puts the T&A in The Ma-TA-dor when she bares her butt one minute in and then goes topless on a strip club stage at the 17-minute mark. Ole!
Anna Chapman, the Russian national who was deported earlier this year after she was exposed as a spy for the Russian Federation's version of the KGB, has been exposed yet again.
This time, it's in a series of fully frontal nude photos (see them at Egotastic) of her Muscovite mams and muff.
Mr. Skin spies some fur on that burger!
Anna's naked revelation is yet another case of art imitation life imitating art. Specifically, a naked spy imitating a movie about a naked spy based on a real naked spy.
To clear up your confusion, check out French softcore starlet Sylvia Kristel's performance as the titular turncoat in the 1985 fact-based espionage flick Mata Hari.
Playing the Dutch exotic dancer who was executed for being a German spy during World War I, Sylvia strips repeatedly, banging dude after dude and even skin-dulging in an opium-fueled naked lesbian threesome.
With all that retro rug, they should have called it Mata Hairy!
From naked Natalia Wörner in the Starz mini-series The Pillars of the Earth to nude Naomi Watts in the drama Mother and Child, this pre-Christmas week features some stocking-stuffer DVDs that will also stuff the stocking in your pants.
The Pillars of the Earth
The Starz historical miniseries The Pillars of the Earth chronicles the building of a cathedral in 12th century England. But if you're not into spires and arches, you can still check out the flying buttresses of co-star Natalia Wörner. Star Hayley Atwell uses a possible stunt butt for her nude scene, but naked Natalia puts her own architecture on display. Forget "brick house," she's built like a stone church!
Mother and Child
Ever electrifying Naomi Watts puts in her sixth career nude scene and her costar Kerry Washington does her fourth in the drama Mother and Child. Naomi bares butt and then showing off her motherrific mammaries and muff when she goes fully frontal on the balcony and Ms. Washington will have you erecting a monument in your pants when she reveals right rackage in bed with her boyfriend. Naomi and Kerry are the mothers of skinvention. I guess that makes me Frank Slappa!
The Quintessential Guy Maddin! 5 Films from the Heart of Winnipeg
The Quintessential Guy Maddin! 5 Films from the Heart of Winnipeg is a four-disc box set of far-out movies from Canadian arthouse auteur Guy Maddin. Included are the 1997 fantasy The Twilight of the Ice Nymphs, featuring the rumptastic rear of Pascale Bussières, 2003's Cowards Bend the Knee with naked Melissa Dionisio, and the 1992 flick Careful, where we get full frontal from Gosia Dobrowolska and T&A from Katya Gardner and Sarah Neville. What a guy Maddin is!
