By Mike McPadden
The 12 months behind us proved to be no slouch in the realm of naked celebrity fronts, even though
the most spectacular revelations were flashed for the paparazzi rather than up on the big screen.
Even at the video store, famous T&A has given way to the F-list antics of
Dustin Diamond. Ah well, we'll always have
1 Night in Paris.
That stated, 2006 did supply a bumper crop of bare starlets in fresh productions. We here at the Skin Labs have calculated the previous year's cream of the tops, sweetest of the seats, and choicest of the moists.
There was only one criterion: Each film had to initially debut in 2006, be it in theaters or direct-to-DVD.
And as a boner-us, we scoured the small screen to bring you our picks for the Top Five Boob Tube Bust-Outs of 2006, to boot. So stayed tuned until next week!
So grab your noisemaker and prepare for an explosion of party hats as we look back on the nude scenes that made us point up the most last year.
20. Sharon Stone (Picture: 1 -
2) in
Basic Instinct 2
Basic Instinct 2 resurrects
Sharon Stone's signature role--bisexual icepick-princess Catherine Tramell--who this time takes on London in her unmistakably omnivorous style. Thanks to all the full frontals, lesbian canoodling, and a hot-tub threeway, Miss Stone, as always, is guaranteed to give you a bone.
19. Zara Taylor (Picture: 1 -
2) in
Hollow Man 2 and
Totally Awesome
Brunette nudecomer
Zara Taylor took off in 2006 by taking off her top--twice. Zara's za-zas in the straight-to-DVD sequel
Hollow Man 2 will leave you anything but hollow, man, while her shirtless turn brings truth to the title of the made-for-VH1 1980s send up
Totally Awesome.
18. Anapola Mushkadiz (Picture: 1 -
2) in
Battle in Heaven
Contemporary Mexican cinema doesn't get more cutting edge than the kidnapping drama
Battle in Heaven, and skinternational sirens don't get more scorching than the movie's leading lust bomb,
Anapola Mushkadiz. Dreadlocked knockout Anapola plays a prostitute who porks a customer in a graphic encounter that can only be summed up as
muy calient?em>!
17. Meital Dohan (Picture: 1 - 2) in
God's Sandbox
Israeli eyeful
Meital Dohan made her first splash Stateside this year on the smash Showtime series
Weeds. Arthouse audiences got an even more intoxicating view of Meital in the desert-set melodrama
God's Sandbox. As a mother in search of her daughter, Meital communes with nature wearing the outfit God gave her and even shows off her own sandy-blonde box.
16. Kristanna Loken (Picture: 1) in
BloodRayne
In real life last year,
Terminator 3 temptress
Kristanna Loken revealed that girl-girl grappling made her gash flush with good feelings. At the movies, the flaxen vixen with the killer bod returned to sci-fi slinkiness in
BloodRayne, feeding her pink-tipped casabas to some lucky stubble-faced mook.
15. Monet Mazur (Picture: 1 -
2) in
Stoned: Unrated and
Whirlygirl
One of Hollywood's fastest rising "It Girls,"
Monet Mazur used her succulent two to bust ahead of the pack in 2006. Playing rock muse
Anita Pallenberg in the
Rolling Stones docudrama
Stoned, Monet served up her Ruby Tuesdays repeatedly, once even kinkily co-starring with a whip. The college romp
Whirlygirl showcased Monet's amazers several times as well.
14. Sophia Myles (Picture: 1 -
2) in
Art School Confidential
Comic-book genius
Daniel Clowes and filmmaker
Terry Zwigoff may have faced some criticism that
Art School Confidential wasn't the instant classic that their previous collaboration,
Ghost World (2001), turned out to be, but
Mr. Skin can't join the nay-saying chorus. That's because unlike
Ghost World--which only teased us with superhumanly top-heavy
Thora Birch and
Scarlett Johansson--
Art School Confidential's leading lady, sumptuous Brit babe
Sophia Myles, comes through with nudity that earns a true T&A-plus.
13. Bryce Dallas Howard (Picture: 1 -
2) in
Manderlay
Bryce Dallas Howard, the real-life daughter of actor-filmmaker
Ron Howard, made her major Tinseltown splash last summer in the weird-ass
Lady in the Water, but she debuted nude too, in
Manderlay, the most recent calculated outrage from Danish con artist
Lars von Trier.
Manderlay is all about big, bad, racist America, but the only colors that really count belong to Bryce as she reveals that she's a natural redhead during a smashing skinterracial sex session. That's right, Opie's girl shows all three Aunt B's.
12. Crystal Lowe (Picture: 1) and
Chelan Simmons (Picture:
1) in
Final Destination 3: Thrill Ride Edition
Along with
Hostel and the
Saw series, the
Final Destination movies have reinvigorated the horror genre with nasty streaks and inventive gore tactics that have already surpassed the slasher cycle of the 1980s. Another key element for which these new fright franchises are to be applauded: the return of naked female victims, fully taking advantage of the R-rating for their theatrical runs, followed by awe-inspiring unrated editions on DVD.
Final Destination 3: Thrill Ride Edition takes the series' Rube-Goldberg-esque death dealings first to a carnival and later, most memorably, to a tanning salon.
Crystal Lowe and
Chelan Simmons are quite literally sizzling as their browning sessions go bad. And thanks to an innovative DVD bonus feature, viewers can enjoy even more of their naked loveliness as they meet an ugly demise.
11. Julianne Nicholson in Flannel Pajamas
Fiery, freckle-faced beauty
Julianne Nicholson joined the cast of
Law & Order: Criminal Intent this season. Fans of the whodunit series are directed to
Flannel Pajamas, which Julianne turns into a "she-shows-it" via several sumptuous nude scenes, including a furry full frontal.
10. Lauren Lee Smith (Picture: 1 -
2) in
Lie with Me
Luscious
L Word stunner
Lauren Lee Smith turns the indie romance
Lie with Me into a
skindie classic. Lauren Lee kicks off the movie by explicitly dipping fingers into herself and then follows up with a series of full-exposure erotic assaults both solo and with an enormously fortunate fellow.
9. Amanda Righetti (Picture: 1 -
2) in
Angel Blade
Angel Blade is a down-and-dirty crime thriller written and directed by and starring
David Heavener. Set in the underbelly of the Las Vegas sex trade,
Angel Blade turns up the heavenly bodies of
Kathleen Pederson and, most monumentally,
Amanda Righetti. As an anything-goes stripper, Amanda nudes it up nonstop and even shaves a dude's ass with a knife. Miss Righetti gave me stiff spaghetti.
8. Kyra Sedgwick (Picture: 1 -
2) in
Loverboy
The skintense character study
Loverboy provides a star vehicle for
Kyra Sedgwick, and it was directed by her real-life hubby,
Kevin Bacon. Playing an unfit parent, Kyra sizzlingly serves up her Bacon bits mo(i)st tastily on several occasions. Look, too, for a rare rack reveal from
Marisa Tomei.
7. Kelly Brook (Picture: 1 -
2) in
Survival Island a.k.a.
Three
Volcanically voluptuous British bombshell
Kelly Brook gets shipwrecked on a tropical island and, oh, does she have a lovely bunch of coconuts.
Billy Zane portrays her husband.
Juan Pablo di Pace is the couple's manservant. The gentlemen compete for the affections of naturally super-knockered Kelly. You'll feel their pain (and something else of your own) as Kelly unveils one of the most flawless physiques ever filmed over and over and over again.
6. Barbara Nedeljakova (Picture: 1 -
2) in
Hostel: Unrated
Barbara Nedeljakova's last name won't be the only long and hard thing on hand when you watch
Hostel: Unrated. Writer-director
Eli Roth's landmark horror freak-out boasts more bare female flesh than any major Hollywood release in quite some time.
Hostel takes place in Eastern Europe, where life is as cheap as impossibly gorgeous nubiles willing to get completely naked on camera are priceless.
5. Jennifer Aniston (Picture: 1) in
The Break-Up: Full-Screen Version
The
Vince Vaughn-
Jennifer Aniston comedy
The Break-Up is more like The "Crack" Up when Jen reveals her world-class ass at the 57-minute mark. Be sure to check out the full-screen DVD for a more, uh, "rounded" view.
4. Bai Ling in Edmond
Playing a peepshow dancer in the
David Mamet-scripted,
Stuart Gordon-directed arthouse drama
Edmond, bodacious, bisexual-in-real-life Asian sensation
Bai Ling delivers sweet Chinese dumplings. You can provide your own sauce.
3. Brittany Daniel (Picture: 1 -
2) in
Rampage: The Hillside Strangler Murders
Blazingly sexy blonde starlet
Brittany Daniel is best known for her clothed roles in
Joe Dirt (2001) and
Club Dread (2004), which makes her nude debut in
Rampage: The Hillside Strangler Murders even more astonishing. Not only does Brit show her mouth-watering chest bits, she also bares her fantastically gravity-defying gluteus and engages in Sapphic face sucking with
Michelle Borth during a swingin'-'70s threeway.
2. Gretchen Mol (Picture: 1 -
2) in
The Notorious Bettie Page
Brilliantly embodying the ultimate pin-up in
The Notorious Bettie Page, mesmerizingly gorgeous
Gretchen Mol does a lot of taking off. Naturally blonde Gretchen dyed her locks above
and below to match Bettie's trademark black coiffure. That's the kind of Method acting that Mr. Skin can get behind. And on top of. And underneath. And next to. . . .
1. Salma Hayek (Picture: 1 -
2) in
Ask the Dust
Mexico's spiciest export,
Salma Hayek, bares all opposite
Colin Farrell in the romantic period piece
Ask the Dust. In 2003 Salma's
Frida took Breast Picture honors in Mr. Skin's annual Anatomy Awards, and
Dust makes for a fine trophy-polishing follow-up. Thirty-three minutes in, Salma skinny dips in the Pacific, showing off her bouncing buoys, ravishing rear port, and even some ultra-tasty Taco Bell!
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