By Selwyn Harris
Here at Skin Central, seasons come and go like so many DVDs across our desks--and, subsequently, Kleenexes in our wastebaskets.
This past annum, 2005 (or the Year of Our Skin 6), proved abundant with hotties richly revealing themselves on home video. Narrowing the releases of the last 12 months to just 25 "best", in fact, proved a challenge. But we're up to handling hard parts in these jobs--I mean, handling hard jobs in these parts.
Our only ground rule was that the film in question on a given DVD did not have a theatrical release in 2005. Our tribute to the finest skin-chievements on the big screen is coming up in the weeks ahead, and no measly charge of "lewd behavior in public" is going to keep us from weighing in on this in full.
Without further ado, then, here are our picks for the 25 Best DVDs for nudity that were released in 2005.
25. Frog-g-g! (2004)
Studio: Vital Fluids Releasing
Who's Nude: Kristi Russell (Picture: 1), Ariadne Shaffer (Picture: 1), Eowyn Steele (Picture: 1)
The Skinny: You may not grow warts on your palms while watching the affably daffy amphibian screamer Frog-g-g, but you might have to watch out for sprouting hair. Nifty lesbianics between Kristi Russell and Ariadne Shaffer are pungently punctuated by Eowyn Steele's interracial make-out being interrupted by a big rubber reptile. White, black, and green, apparently, don't mix.
24. Warm Summer Rain (1989)
Studio: MGM
Who's Nude: Kelly Lynch (Picture: 1 - 2)
The Skinny: In the low-budget romantic drama Warm Summer Rain, Kelly Lynch is naked. And then she's naked again. And then she's naked some more. Compounding the pleasure of this was the late-night-cable onslaught of Rain just as Kelly's Hollywood star was ascending via the hits Road House (1989) and Drugstore Cowboy (1989). And now you can relive Kelly's revelations on disc. And then again. And then some more.
23. Body and Soul (1981)
Studio: MGM
Who's Nude: Jayne Kennedy (Picture: 1), Ola Ray (Picture: ), Rosanne Katon (Picture: 1), Ingrid Greer, Azizi Johari, Laurie Senit
The Skinny: Cinematic pugilist Leon Isaac Kennedy wrapped up the blaxploitation era with a bounty of boxing-themed blowouts, including his deep-impact Penitentiary flicks and the remake of a 1947 favorite, Body and Soul. And while the movie is rife with soul, the bodies on hand are true knockouts that include Leon Isaac's then-wife Jayne Kennedy, as well as cocoa-casaba'd Playboy Playmates Ola Ray and Rosanne Katon.
21. Species III (2004)
Studio: MGM
Who's Nude: Sunny Mabrey (Picture: 1 - 2), Amelia Cooke
The Skinny: The sci-fi series that made Natasha Henstridge a spank goddess throughout the universe returns with two new out-of-this-world eyefuls taking up the lethally sexy naked space-chick mantle: Sunny Mabrey and Amelia Cook.
20. Big Bad Mama: Special Edition (1974)
Studio: Buena Vista Home Entertainment
Who's Nude: Angie Dickinson (Picture: 1 - 2), Sally Kirkland, Susan Sennett (Picture: 1), Joan Prather, Robbie Lee, Shannon Christie
The Skinny: The double-barreled drive-in masterpiece (of ass) Big Bad Mama gets the Special Edition treatment, complete with audio commentary and a new documentary featuring mega-mammaried Mama herself, Angie Dickinson. The movie is also digitally restored, delivering its A-caliber B-movie babe TA with gorgeous clarity--as well as William Shatner's ass. You just have to take Big Bad's good with the blecch.
19. National Lampoon's Gold Diggers (2003)
Studio: MGM
Who's Nude: Nikki Schieler Ziering (Picture: )
The Skinny:National Lampoon's Gold Diggers slipped in and out of theaters faster than plastic-pontooned star Nikki Schieler Ziering slips out of her shirt three separate times in the movie. More toplessness might have meant more box office but, fret not, the Gold Diggers DVD provides bonus views of Nikki's knockers that are better, longer, and more jiggly, as they occur while she blows her lines during a blooper reel.
18. Devil in the Flesh (1986)
Studio: No Shame Films
Who's Nude: Maruschka Detmers (Picture: 1 - 2)
The Skinny: Italian arthouse outrage Devil in the Flesh stirred up a skinternational scandal upon its initial release. The cause of the brouhaha was an on-camera interlude in which constantly naked Dutch dreamboat Maruschka Detmers parts her lips and supplies her male co-star with a hardcore, up-close blow-haha. The new Devil DVD presents the sucky (in the best sense) scene, along with some great bonus features and those aforementioned views of Marushka's boobs, buns, and cooze.
17. Inserts (1975)
Studio: MGM
Who's Nude: Veronica Cartwright (Picture: 1), Jessica Harper
The Skinny:Richard Dreyfuss plays a director of silent films who turns to smut when sound hits Hollywood in the controversial period piece Inserts. All-grown-up child actress Veronica Cartwright grows right out of her clothes as one of the pioneering porn stars, as does deliciously micro-boobied cult siren Jessica Harper.
16. The Candy Snatchers (1973)
Studio: Subversive Cinema
Who's Nude: Tiffany Bolling (Picture: 1), Susan Sennett
The Skinny: For years, nasty grindhouse classic The Candy Snatchers was one of the most heavily bootlegged titles on the underground collector's circuit. New studio Subversive Cinema wisely debuted, then, with this sex-and-violence-pumped tale of a kidnap plot gone kablooey. It's a great disc for a great blast of nihilistic '70s exploitation.
15. 8MM 2 (2005)
Studio: Sony Pictures
Who's Nude: Frances Da Costas (Picture: 1), Zita Gorog (Picture: 1), Lori Heuring (Picture: 1)
The Skinny: Direct-to-video sequels are not just big business, they're frequently better (and sleazier) resources for nudity than the original theatrical features that they're following. Case in point(s): 8MM 2, the goofily titled follow-up to the 1999 Nicolas Cage snuff-film potboiler 8MM. Actually this story of an ambassador's nymphomaniac daughter getting blackmailed with a sex tape was originally titled The Velvet Side of Hell and bears no connection to any other movie. Except for nudity. And that it has got.
14. Stripes: Extended Cut (1981)
Studio: Sony Pictures
Who's Nude: P.J. Soles (Picture: 1), Roberta Leighton, Sue Bowser
The Skinny: It was hard to believe that there would be any way to improve upon Bill Murray's uproarious, beloved military farce but, alas, here it is: P. J. Soles is naked in the "Extended Cut" DVD's bonus footage. And that's the fact, Jack!
13. Frostbite (2004)
Studio: 20th Century Fox
Who's Nude: Nikol Nesbitt (Picture: 1), Suzanne Stokes (Picture: 1), Buffy Tyler (Picture: 1)
The Skinny: You'll be stiff as a snowboard when you scoop up this ski-lodge romp in the fine, powdery tradition of Hot Dog... the Movie (1984). ?er-flaxen slalom vixens Nikol Nesbitt, Suzanne Stokes, and Buffy Tyler--even their names are delightfully bimbonic--bare their bunny hills and melt all comers.
12. Bolero (1984)
Studio: MGM
Who's Nude: Bo Derek (Picture: 1 - 2), Olivia d'Abo, Mirta Miller, Ana Obreg?a
The Skinny: The lovingly lambasted Bo Derek vehicle Bolero, written and directed by her husband, John Derek, chronicles our heroine's elusive quest to reach "ecstasy". No, not the raver-dipshit hallucinogen, but a state of visceral bliss--pretty much akin to what you'll feel in key flashes while eyeballing Bo banging her way around the world, along with bubble-bath bo-bos and bush from teenaged Olivia d'Abo.
11.The Sensuous Nurse (1975)
Studio: NoShame Films
Who's Nude: Ursula Andress (Picture: 1 - 2), Luciana Paluzzi, Carla Romanelli
The Skinny: Bond bombshell and swingin' '60s Euro-siren extraordinaire Ursula Andress never read an Italian sex comedy script she could turn down, and, of the many she turned up in, our favorite is the early cable TV and VHS fave The Sensuous Nurse. In the title role, Ursula brings bone-popping bedside manner to her duties, which include skinny dipping and displaying copious full-frontal furr-ociousness. This Nurse will cure what ails you.
10. Video Vixens (1975)
Studio: Troma
Who's Nude: Cheryl "Rainbeaux" Smith,Maria Aronoff, Angela Carnon, Robyn Hilton, Terri Johnson, Linda York
The Skinny: Lost somewhere in the avalanche of titz-a-poppin' '70s lampoons such as The Groove Tube (1974) and Kentucky Fried Movie (1977) was the TV awards-show send-up Video Vixens. Among the bare-body-heavy hijinks is a commercial for the feminine hygiene product "Twinkle Twat", featuring revered drive-in diva Cheryl "Rainbeaux" Smith utterly bare, brandishing a gloriously overgrown thigh-thatch and truly making us twinkle.
9. Female Yakuza Tale: Inquisition and Torture (1973)
Studio: Panik House
Who's Nude: Reiko Ike (Picture: 1 - 2), Jun Midorikawa
The Skinny: The first in a series of history-making Asian exploitation releases from upstart DVD company Panik House, Female Yakuza Tale: Inquisition and Torture showcases Japanese grindhouse legend Reiko Ike in her signature role as lady gangster Och?oshika. Reiko reveals every inch of her dangerously alluring lusciousness during this action-packed romp's opening credits--including a taste of Teriyaki back burger! And from there Female Yakuza Tale gets really hot.
8. Prozac Nation (2001)
Studio: Miramax Home Entertainment
Who's Nude: Christina Ricci (Picture: 1 - 2)
The Skinny: The often-delayed adaptation of Elizabeth Wurtzel's poor-me diatribe Prozac Nation finally boosted viewers' spirits on DVD four years after it was scheduled to play theaters--and never did. Leading lust-bomb Christina Ricci proves how much she's developed as an actress since her initial hit as little Wednesday in the Addams Family movies, busting out her round, ripe, multi-megaton milk bombs and some lickable lap lint just four minutes into Prozac's proceedings. Now those are some natural anti-depressants.
7. Mischief (1985)
Studio: Anchor Bay Entertainment
Who's Nude: Kelly Preston (Picture: 1)
The Skinny: Teen sex was a hot movie commodity in the mid-1980s and regular hot potato in the mid-1950s. The latter provides the setting for the hormonal happenings of Mischief. Doug McKeon is the movie's frustrated horndog hero, and young, impossibly full-bodied Kelly Preston plays the neighbor who provides him with all manner of temptation. At the fifty-nine-minute mark, Kelly strips starkers and reveals one of the greatest physiques we've ever seen in one of Mr. Skin's favorite nude scenes of all time.
6. The Scorned: Unrated (2005)
Studio: ScornedMovie.com
Who's Nude: Trishelle Cannatella (Picture: 1), Jenna Lewis (Picture: 1), Tonya Cooley (Picture: 1), Trish Schneider (Picture: 1), Stacie Jones Upchurch (Picture: 1)
The Skinny: Reality television is nothing so much as a high-tech update on carnival curiosity. Kudos, then, to the makers of The Scorned for extending the sideshow into a direct-to-video murder mystery featuring naked displays by reality-show stroke targets Trishelle Cannatella (The Real World Las Vegas), Jenna Lewis (Survivor), Tonya Cooley (The Real World Chicago), Trish Schneider (The Bachelor), and Stacie Jones Upchurch (The Apprentice). Step right up and pop right off.
5. Sex Fury (1973)
Studio: Panik House
Who's Nude: Reiko Ike (Picture: 1), Christina Lindberg (Picture: 1), Jun Midorikawa, Y?Mihara, Rie Saotome
The Skinny: There are those people who claim that Sex and Fury is the greatest Japanese exploitation film ever made. And we would be those people. Reiko Ike again ignites the incendiary action epic that most obviously inspired Quentin Tarantino's Kill Bill with raw eroticism and bare-bodied combat. Here, Reiko plays her famous female Yakuza role opposite Swedish sensation Christina Lindberg as a European spy.
4. Crazed (1978)
Studio: Troma
Who's Nude: Catherine Bach (Picture: 1 - 2), Leslie Caron
The Skinny: Daisy Duke bared her moonshine jugs on camera once and only once, and, at last, here is the movie in which she does it. Crazed is a comically dated psychological study of a rich bitch (Leslie Caron) who uses humans as playthings. Fortunately one of them is Catherine Bach, a.k.a. The Dukes of Hazzard's original Daisy, and she unveils some amazing things for Leslie to play with. Not only do we see Catherine's casabas, she also shares a lesbian moment with her leading lady. Got Crazed yet?
3. My Breast (1994)
Studio: MPI Home Video
Who's Nude: Meredith Baxter (Picture: 1)
The Skinny: The title is My Breast, so when Meredith Baxter busts out her mouth-wateringly wobbly, niftily pink-nippled right-side love balloon at the sixteen-minute mark, why did so many who saw it gasp in disbelief, "Her breast! Her breast!" Because My Breast originally aired on NBC, in prime time. And, also, because that's Alex P. Keaton's mom's jug we just saw!
2. Pinky Violence Collection
Studio: Panik House
Who's Nude:
Criminal Woman: Killing Melody (1973): Reiko Ike (Picture: 1 - 2), Yumiko Katayama, Miki Sugimoto
Terrifying Girls' High School: Lynch Law Classroom (1973): Jun Midorikawa, Miki Sugimoto
Girl Boss Guerilla (1972): Reiko Ike, Miki Sugimoto
Delinquent Girl Boss: Worthless To Confess (1971): Yukie Kagawa, Yumiko Katayama
The Skinny: The box set of the year is also one of the great anthologies of the DVD era. Panik House's Pinky Violence Collection compiles four raw, ravaging, powerfully arousing examples of Japan's "sukeban" film genre in a sumptuously packaged set that includes bonus materials, a collector's booklet, and a CD of sukeban superstar Reiko Ike singing. The main concern of sukeban movies is Japanese schoolgirls run brutally wild and sexually berserk--both in and out of their adorable school uniforms. Hence the nickname "Pinky Violence". This collection is an ideal introduction to sukeban, as well as a must-own for fans of wild cinema and naked teenage girls. And that would be ... everybody!
1. Havoc (2005)
Studio: New Line Home Entertainment
Who's Nude: Anne Hathaway (Picture: 1 - 2), Bijou Phillips (Picture: 1 - 2)
The Skinny:Bijou Phillips is the wild-child daughter of rock royalty Papa John Phillips who rocked NYC gossip columns and showed her labia in the Larry Clark movie Bully (2001). Bijou appears bare in the direct-to-DVD coming-of-age tale Havoc. She looks swell, as usual, but it's hardly unexpected. No, the headline nudes of Havoc belong to Anne Hathaway, formerly best known as the star of Disney's Princess Diaries movies and the storybook fantasy Ella Enchanted. In Havoc, Anne exposes her royal rack in the year's most astonishing skin scene. Her chest crowns are big, beaming jewels that are gorgeous--and, more importantly, surprising--enough to hand Havoc the Best DVD of 2005 title, even if we don't see Anne's hairy princess.
