Tucker Max: The Mr. Skin Interview

How does graduating with high honors from the University of Chicago and receiving an academic scholarship to Duke Law School prepare one for a life of inebriation and wanton sex?
Uhh . . . it doesn't. Well, actually it does. Anyone can drink, but it takes someone smart to be funny, witty, creative, and to remember everything you do while drunk and write it down in a coherent manner. U of Chicago taught me how to think, and I use those skills every day. Drinking and screwing is easy; making a living out of it is hard.

Your stories of abusive alcoholic consumption and sexual excess are almost too good to be true. Will we be reading about you fabricating your stories on TheSmokingGun.com ?a James Frey and A Million Little Pieces?
I actually emailed TSG the other day; I want them to come after me, and I told them that I would help them verify as much as possible. Dude, most of my life is public record. You can look up my degrees at U of Chicago and Duke, you can look up my employment records, you can look at the pictures I post on my site and in my book about many of these stories. Beyond that, almost every single one of the stories had a witness who is still a friend of mine and can be contacted for verification. My life is an open book and I welcome anyone to look at it.

Your writing career started with the website TuckerMax.com, where you detailed such envious adventures as "The Blowjob Follies" and "Tucker Tries Buttsex: Hilarity Does Not Ensue." First, why did you feel compelled to share the sordid details of your life online?
The stories started as emails to my friends. You know how it is; when you are in your twenties you do all sorts of stupid things and you want to share them with your friends, so you put it in an email. Mine just happened to be really funny, and I started posting them on my site, and next thing I knew, I was getting a lot of attention.

Second, how were you able to get any dates afterwards?
Dates? Who goes on dates anymore? Girls email me and ask me to hook up with them. I don't need to search for girls anymore.

You claim as your occupation, asshole. What is the job description?
Well, it's a bit more complicated than that. I actually do a lot of work; I write stories, I run my site, I deal with all sorts of issues. This is something of a new area I am in, so the job description changes daily.

Being a consummate womanizer, are you a breast man or a leg man?
A womanizer is defined as one who "pursues women lecherously." That is not me at all. I haven't been lecherous since I was like seventeen. But I do have a preference, and it is breasts. I like big, huge breasts, especially fake ones. I love fake tits.

What is it about those plastic fantastics that turns you on so?
I really don't know; maybe the fact that I grew up on porn magazines like Juggs and shit like that, it just skewed my perception of breasts or something. Plus, I go to so many strip clubs and stuff, I just have gotten used to the feel of fake tits. I like 'em hard, what can I say?

One of your ex-girlfriends tried to sue you over a story. What's the story there?
That story is literally pages long. I wouldn't even know where to begin. It's called "The Miss Vermont Story"; it's on my site.

Regardless of the ample stories you post and publish that should act like a restraining order for women, you're still hit on. You even have an application for potential dates to fill out, complete with pictures, on your site. What is it about women that are such gluttons for punishment?
I don't punish women; you are misreading the site. I only dog those people who deserve it. Ninety-nine percent of the people I deal with never make it on the site at all, in any way. Beyond that, do you know anything at all about women? If so, why would you be shocked that women are into an asshole alpha male?

From the pictures of girlfriends on your site, it's obvious you have a type--tall, hot blondes. Does that hold true for movie stars you think are hot?
You know, the thing is I am not all into tall blondes; those are just the pics on the site. I pretty much think all movie stars are hot ... except for the ugly ones.

Have you dated any famous starlets or gotten fawning attention from Hollywood hotties?
I have indeed, but I promised her I would not write about her . . . at least until I stop fucking her.

Besides the book and the site, you're working on pitching TV and movie projects. How about a little teaser of what we can expect from your imminent media domination?
The TV show is going to be a half-hour comedy based on my life and my website. If you've read the stories, you'll have a good idea of what it'll be like. The movie is a screenplay based on "The Austin Road Trip" story.

Is there a sequel to I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell upcoming?
Absolutely. It's called Assholes Finish First, and it comes out in fall of 2007.

If they don't serve beer in hell, then what will you do?
Suffer. A lot.



images of Tucker Max all courtesy of Tucker Max website