Conrad Keely: The Mr. Skin Interview

Worlds Apart is one heavy album. Did it blow your own mind?
No, that would be impossible [laughs]. In some ways, every album that we've done has never achieved our expectations or our hopes. They've always fallen short of the grand picture, but in a way I don't know if I'd want to achieve the ultimate vision, or realization of our vision, because where would you go from there? As soon as we finished Worlds Apart I was already thinking about where to go next. What did we not do that I wanted to do, and then how can we do that on the next record, if we're allowed to do another record.

What happened to the treatment for the video of your single "And the Rest Will Follow" that was proposed by comedian David Cross?
We liked his treatment, but our label said it was too violent and wouldn't air on MTV. It involved people committing suicide, and the restrictions on MTV don't allow you to make references to that. It's kind of a shame. It would have been really fun to work with him. He's one of our favorite personalities in the world these days. He's funny, but his video treatment was really not funny at all. It was really dark and scary. I don't think it was meant to be funny. I think he was trying to be really serious.

Do you remember the first time you saw a sex scene in a mainstream movie growing up?
Yeah, I was like seven years old and my dad took me to see the movie 10 with Bo Derek (Picture: 1 - 2 - 3) and Dudley Moore, and I thought that was pretty hardcore at the time.

Did that blow your mind?
It didn't blow my mind, but I really liked it. And I thought it was a funny movie. I'm surprised, because I've seen it recently and despite how mature the humor was I was surprised that I remember getting into it the exact same way when I was young. So I guess I was rather precocious.

What's your favorite sex scene in a movie?
Bob Guccione's Caligula, I really liked the blowjob scene in that. It's the only blowjob I've ever seen on film where the guy comes in the girl's mouth and the semen just leaks out from her cheeks. I'd consider that a classic.

I have to say that's one of the greatest porn movies of all time. Malcolm McDowell and Peter O'Toole are fantastic in it. And who was the other one, the one who played the butler in Arthur?

John Gielgud.
I guess I'm a big buff on Roman history. I wish they'd make more pornos like that, actually, historical pornos. I'd find that far more titillating, you know. If they had a Victorian porno or one set during the French Revolution, can you imagine? I think if anybody asked me to write a screenplay or treatment for a historical porno I would jump on it.

The word is out now. Maybe you'll get a call.
I always liked the [sex scene] in Behind the Green Door (Picture: 1 - 2 - 3) where they bring the huge black stud out to fuck this little white girl.

That's probably the most existential porn movie ever made, like an X-rated version of Jean-Paul Sartre's No Exit.
And Last Tango in Paris (Picture: 1 - 2 - 3), I liked that. I don't know if this counts as a sex scene, but I really liked that part in Akira Kurosawa's Ran where the girl's about to slit that guy's throat and then they end up making out and fucking. And it's his sister-in-law.

How about actresses, who's hot?
I always like Alicia Silverstone. I really like Drew Barrymore, I've had a crush on her since I was ten. I liked Firestarter. I haven't seen it since I was twelve, so maybe it sucks, but I remember liking it when I was a kid. I also like Ever After, the Cinderella story. I actually liked her co-actress in that, who was also the girl in Peter Jackson's Heavenly Creatures [Ed. Note: That's Melanie Lynskey] (Picture: 1). We reference that in our record. There's a part in the record where a woman is screaming, "Don't go!" and that's taken directly from that movie.

You reference movies a lot?
A lot of our inspiration comes from movie soundtracks. I listen to Basil Poledouris's Conan the Barbarian soundtrack, which is absolutely incredible. And, of course, Jesus Christ Superstar, and I'm really into Tan Dun's music that he's done for Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. All that stuff.

Do you have any hot actresses that are fans?
I haven't gone out of my way to find out, but I have been told that Frodo Baggins, Elijah Wood, is a big fan of ours. That's good enough for me.

How wild does it get after a show?
I've always set my expectations to what it must have been like in the '70s for Led Zeppelin and Hammer of the Gods, and I must say these days being a rock musician is pretty disappointing. I don't know, maybe I should have been a porn star, because it certainly doesn't seem like Hammer of the Gods these days, for anybody.

Did you have aspirations of being a porn star when you were younger?
No, I wanted to be a scientist and author of fantasy fiction. I'm a very big fan of George RR Martin, who, speaking of porn, his fantasy novels read like a great Penthouse Letters. He writes a series called Songs of Fire and Ice, so far three novels in the series and the fourth is about to come out and they're projecting a fifth for the future.

Before I let you go, I wanted to know what's next and if there's any chance of a Mr. Skin concept album in the works, because I think that's the next plateau for you guys.
Oh, oh, oh . . . I think that, you know, I don't know. I don't know what's next. I'm just as curious myself. I'm a little terrified, not just for myself, but the whole world. We wait with bated breath.

All photos of Conrad Keely courtesy of TrailofDead.com.