Kyle Cease: The Mr. Skin Interview

You have a special on Comedy Central. What can audiences expect?
Well, your crowd will be happy to know that I show up in two bikinis. The second bikini is in case the first one breaks down. And to get at least a three-star rating on this site, it will be difficult considering I am slightly chubby ... and not female. I am actually so excited to have this come out. I had so much fun on the stage and I was so happy to get to make my point about the real issues ... like Nintendo and Sunny Delight.

Your bio claims you've been getting yuks since before puberty. What was so funny about childhood?
I started in second grade. Mrs. Blaylock told me that if I would shut up in class she would give me five minutes at the end of the week to perform. My uncle was the prop man for the comedian Gallagher (who is a great comedian, if you are in second grade). I told his jokes in front of the class. I did material about sex and taxes and had no clue what I was talking about. I was so thankful to the teacher that right there I promised her that one day I would mention her on Mr. Skin.

Is being a young comic making the standup rounds a good way to meet loose women?
Absolutely. One time I was performing in Dayton, Ohio, and a woman approached me. She had four teeth and a shirt that had a picture of a crap on it and it said "shit happens." I of course instantly had an erection so we went to her trailer. She asked me to tell her more of "them funnies" and I knew that we were in love. We then went to Wal-Mart and put some Lunchables on layaway to cap off the night.

I read that you rip into your ex-girlfriend in your routine. Do share.
Yes. The day that she went to Wal-Mart to add a payment to the Lunchables. She fell for the stock guy. Actually being cheated on was a difficult thing for me, and I found it was a blessing in disguise. I for the first time found myself writing from the heart. I felt much more feelings and life experience to draw from. We all learn from my mistakes. That's right. Only mine. You are all so lucky that I am doing this interview or you would learn nothing.

Your big break was being cast as a nerd in 10 Things I Hate About You. Is that a blessing or a curse?
Being a nerd in 10 Things was definitely a blessing. Nothing humbles you more then being told that out of thousands of people I was selected to play a nerd professionally.

10 Things I Hate About You, while it doesn't feature any skin, is sexy enough to be featured on our site, specifically Larisa Oleynik and Julia Stiles. Did you get to see them in a more intimate setting than audiences saw onscreen?
I have been asked that question so many times. I will be having a family dinner at Thanksgiving and my grandma will say "Larisa ... you ever hit that shit?" and then she eats the flowers. I don't have that much dirt on either of them. I wish I did. Unless you count that time I saw Julia and Larisa having sex and peeing on each other. But you probably wouldn't care about that.

But Not Another Teen Movie, at least the unrated extended director's cut, has striking skin from Cerina Vincent (Picture: 1 - 2), as the foreign exchange student Areola. Did you do any scenes with her or did you just want to do her?
My funniest memory of Cerina Vincent as the naked girl in NATM is that we had a "closed set" when she worked, meaning we weren't "supposed" to be there. So whenever she showed up, the crew would be forced to leave. But we all only walked away about ten feet and then we all watched secretly from the sound booth. After this, Julia Stiles and Larisa Oleynik would join in and pee on her.

The most curious title on your resum?s The Hand Job. Is that what I think it's about?
It is actually two hours of me masturbating. I used a closed set so no one could see my nudity, which really didn't matter 'cause it was just me, a camera, and four hand puppets. It is actually a movie about working in an office. It really is funny and you won't believe the ending. I can't wait 'til the clips get on this site.

The Hand Job features Gary Busey, who's a bit of a head job. What was it like working with that notorious wild man?
Yep. I worked with Gary Busey. He had a line where he was supposed to say "Now I'm as useless as the Pope's balls." Instead he said, completely out of nowhere, "Now I'm as useless as a frog trying to have a three-way in a bowl of rice with helmets." I then watched him finish grandma's flower.

Who are the actresses, either current or from the past, that are your favorite sex symbols?
I have a vivid memory of secretly watching my mom's Jane Fonda workout tape (Picture: 1). My childhood fat should show you that I did not use that tape for its intent.

What was the first mainstream movie with nudity that you saw as a kid?
The movie Airplane!; there is a scene where the plane shakes and a woman's [ Francesca Natividad ] boobs pop right out (Picture: 1). I had just assumed it was a man's chest with two tumors coming off of it.

Do you have a favorite sex scene from a movie?
I was spoiled because at a young age I found my dad's porn collection. We had two VCRs so we could copy our tapes. The second that the family was away, I would copy his porn onto my blank VHS tapes and then label them things that no one would want to watch. People thought it was weird how into "Michael Bolton live" concerts I was. I think my first mainstream sex scene I saw was in The Kentucky Fried Movie (Picture: 1 - 2). Since it was a comedy my mom never checked it out. Thank God she didn't. Also thank God she hated Michael Bolton.

It says in your MySpace profile that you like "Yo Mama" jokes. What's your current fave?
Actually it says, "I hate yo mama jokes." However my favorite yo mama jokes are ones that I wrote. "If fat was Asians, yo mama would be Disneyland." "If bad breath was unfair and biased news reporting, yo mama would be Fox news."

So, before you go, what's up and coming in the Cease career?
I have a new CD and DVD that Comedy Central Records is releasing. The DVD features a documentary of the college tour that I went on, my half-hour special, my Comedy Central commercials as the holiday spokesman, and my CD of my stand up. It's titled One Dimple and will be in stores in June.