How did you come to land the greatest job in the world?I didn't. The greatest job in the world belongs to my boss, Mr. Skin. I'd rank my gig as a solid second, though. Maybe third, after Mrs. Skin.
Why was that?Some sick, horrifying reaction to an implanted brainwash message about straightening up, flying right, and being a good boy. I used to serially get engaged to be married as a result of that impulse. Imagine that. Marriage-blecchhh! They were terrific women, though. Better than I deserve.
Did Celebrity Skin help put you back on the path of righteousness?In part, sure. Celebrity Skin was great. I really like all the people there. They gave me the freedom to turn Celebrity Skin into a real movie-fan magazine, with an upbeat tone and informative service pieces.
But what about Celebrity Sleuth?Celebrity Sleuth was, and remains, my favorite adults-only magazine of all time. That and Hustler from 1975 to 1984. What Sleuth does is different from Celebrity Skin. It's more personality driven and Sleuth himself is a genius. He is, as I frequently say to Mr. Skin, "the origin of our species."
Did Mr. Skin seek you out from Celebrity Skin?Yes, with some help. A big part of my Celebrity Skin editorial focus was highlighting the terrific work being done by Seduction Cinema in New Jersey. Their movies were genuinely sexy and funny and, of course, they had just landed Misty Mundae, (Picture: 1) who instantly struck me as a B-movie starlet packing potential on par with the all-time greats.
Misty gets written up rather regularly both on MrSkin.com and in the Skintastic Video Guide.We all remain devoted fans, even though she's graduated to non-softcore work and goes by the name Erin Brown now. And when she turned me down for a follow-up Skinterview in 2005, she hurt my feelings in my heart as a person.
Did Misty lead Mr. Skin to you?Kind of, in a roundabout way. Mr. Skin ran into the Seduction Cinema guys at a trade show, and he mentioned that he was looking for writers. They passed my info along, Skin flew to New York, bought me a steak, and a month later I was living in Chicago.
Were you already familiar with MrSkin.com at the time?Oh, fuck yeah. From Howard Stern. I am a lifelong Stern fanatic who heard Howard's very first WNBC afternoon broadcast in 1982. I was fourteen and he was talking about being into watching lesbians and I could not believe such words were coming out of my radio. I have, with very few exceptions, listened to every single show Howard's aired since then.
Was it worth it?Absolutely. The first actress I looked up was Cheryl "Rainbeaux" Smith. (Picture: 1) And there she was. Pics, clips, glorious skinformation, and everything. I am not ashamed to say that as I bounced around the site, I actually did grow weepy. In gratitude. It was over the specific thought: "The future is now."
Still, you've spearheaded an effort to branch the Skin brand out into old-fashioned book publishing.Well, books are forever. And my goal with both Mr. Skin's Skincyclopedia and the brand-new, even better Mr. Skin's Skintastic Video Guide was to create Rosetta-Stone-like reference works that might impact other people the way certain monumentally important books impacted me.
Which books?The Cult Movies series by Danny Peary from the 1980s. The Medved Brothers' Fifty Worst Films of All Time, Hollywood Hall of Shame, and two volumes of The Golden Turkey Awards. Both Psychotronic guides by Michael J. Weldon. And even though he was a complete jackass when he did a MrSkin.com skinterview, Joe Bob Briggs's drive-in review compilations.
Do the Mr. Skin books measure up?Time will tell. I'm very proud of not only my own work on them, but brilliant contributions from ace scribes such as Allan MacDonell-whose Feral House memoir, Prisoner of X: Twenty Years in the Hole at Hustler Magazine, is a must-read-along with Peter Landau, J.R. Taylor, and my never-praised-enough Associate Editors, Kara Edington and Keara Shipe.
What about Mr. Skin?Oh, yeah. Him too. Whew!
Besides the Skintastic Video Guide, what else are you proud of?My daughter, Lil Princess.
Do you remember the first movie nude scene you ever saw?Vividly. One of our neighbors in the '70s was an actual film collector, and he hosted a night of oddities, bloopers, and outtakes at Brooklyn College back when I was seven. Being an insane movie doof already, my parents let me go with them.
What about a real movie nude scene?The Rocky Horror Picture Show, (Picture: 1) which I was obsessed with from the first time I read about it when I was, like, in second grade. All I could figure was that it had monsters and naked ladies, and I loved the music. I got the LP for my eighth birthday on a picture disc featuring Tim Curry, because the regular album had the words "lotsa larfs and sex" on the back.
What's your favorite movie nude scene of all time?Joyce Hyser (Picture: 1) popping open her prom tux at the climax of Just One of the Guys. After that, it's Gisele Lindley's (Picture: 1) entire performance in Forbidden Zone.
Besides the puns and extremely pinpointed focus, what is your philosophy about writing for MrSkin.com?Always keep it upbeat. Write every actress bio specifically for the guy who is in love with that actress. Write every movie review as though you are the number-one fan of that movie. We're all here to have a good time.
You feel strongly about this?Yeah. Another thing that drives me batshit is every dick-lick's opinion being forced on you now, everywhere, all the time. Especially the negative stuff. Thanks a lot, Internet.
Who are your three favorite sexy movie actresses of all time?I have to name more than three, due to my peculiar fetishistic obsessions. I am overwhelmingly drawn to flat-chested women, as well as women who have bombastically enormous breasts-naturals only, of course.
That's quite a dichotomy.Yeah. Same thing goes for me with pubes. I either like a hairy-scary, way overgrown 1974 jungle bush or Kojak crotch.
What are your favorite sexy movies of all time?My favorite movies, period, all seem to be loaded with sex and nudity: Forbidden Zone, (Picture: 1) Showgirls, (Picture: 1) Beyond the Valley of the Dolls, (Picture: 1) the John Waters movies, slasher flicks, teen sex comedies, rock musicals, barbarian movies, post-apocalypse movies, adults-only fairy tales from the 1970s. Coincidence? Not likely.
What are some particularly off-the-wall movie scenes that you've-let's say-applauded with one hand?Jeez, back when I was first learning how to do such things with the original McPadden family VCR in the 1980s, any and every hint of nudity and/or sexuality, especially lesbian, would get viewed and reviewed endlessly using my patented pre-remote-control system: I'd lean on the rewind button with a stickball bat I kept in the basement just for that purpose.
Will you ever get tired of looking at and writing about movie nudity?The world better hope not. Just imagine if I used this time and effort for anything else. God bless everyt last one of you darlings. I love my job and I hate myself. And, at this moment, maybe now more than ever.
Cheryl "Rainbeaux" Smith
|Animal Instincts III
The Rocky Horror Picture Show
Just One of the Guys
Beyond the Valley of the Dolls
Planet of the Apes
Ilsa, Harem Keeper of the Oil Sheiks
Tales of Ordinary Madness
WKRP in Cincinnati
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