As soon as Seth MacFarlane belted out the first few lines of "We Saw Your Boobs" at the 85th Academy Awards, it was clear a skinstant classic had arrived. A song seemingly pulled straight from the recesses of Mr. Skin’s mind, or at least his all encompassing databases at MrSkin.com. And we’re not the only ones who thought so with Chicago Tribune columnist Phil Rosenthal tweeting “I'm pretty sure @MrSkin should get a songwriting credit for this @SethMacFarlane song. #Oscars”, CinemaBlend.com calling it "Mr. Skin: The Musical”, and The Atlantic opining that MacFarlane “essentially read off a Mr. Skin database of shirtless-actress appearances over time”.
Pics after the jump!
The Oscars are Sunday, and while we hope and pray for an on-air nip slip, we are secure in the knowledge that several of the babes who will be taking the stage have a history of nudity. Michelle Williams, Glenn Close, and Rooney Mara are battling it out for Best Actress, while skinstresses like Jessica Chastain and Janet McTeer aim to take home Best Supporting actress Oscar gold.
So dig into our Top 10 2012 Oscar Babes Who've Been Naked... where everyone's a winner! Especially your wiener.
The nominees for the 84th Annual Academy Awards were announced this morning in Hollywood, with Martin Scorcese's animated family film Hugo and silent-film revivalllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllp[dvzk,k pokohisknoisssl....
Whoops, sorry, fell asleep at the keyboard for a second. Feel-good flicks and Francophile nostalgia-fests dominate the Oscar race this year, so there's not a single nude scene in all of the Best Picture nominees combined. Bo-ring!
For this year's nominudes we turn to the Best Actress race, where Rooney Mara was nominated for her tattooed, topless turn in The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo and Glenn Close for her nip-tastic role in Albert Nobbs (Glenn's nude Nobbs co-star Janet McTeer was also nominated for Best Supporting Actress).
Nudity Hall-of-Famer Michelle Williams was also nominated for My Week with Marilyn, but the Seven-Year Tits in that film were provided by body double Emma Glover. And while Berenice Bejo doesn't get naked in The Artist, you can bet your lucky jerking sock we've got nude pics of her here at Mr. Skin. She's French, ain't she?
For a gorgeous slate of nominees that are guaranteed to go nude, go check out the nominudes for Mr. Skin's 13th Annual Anatomy Awards, live RIGHT NOW at MrSkin.com!
The Best Actress category is better stacked this year for peter pullers, with Michelle Williams getting raw in Blue Valentine, Natalie Portman drinking from the fur chalice with Mila Kunis in Black Swan, and illustrious nude thespians Nicole Kidman and Annette Bening serving MILF pie in Rabbit Hole and The Kids are All Right. The lone birthday suit bummer in the race for the world’s most coveted hard bald man is Jennifer Lawrence, nominated for Winter’s Bone.
Mr. Skin's pulling hard for Michelle Williams, the one actress who showed some skin in the role she is nominated for. She soaps up in the shower before getting down with Ryan Gosling in Blue Valentine.
Natalie Portman's sinfully skinny frame and smoldering intensity were a perfect combination for her role as a demented ballerina in Black Swan. She loses the tutu in Hotel Chavalier (2007). It'll tickle more than your ribcage.
Nicole Kidman has taken the world down her rabbit hole many times, but Mr. Skin is particularly fond of her creamy can in Eyes Wide Shut (1999), where she pulls off the naked ninja move of flashing boobs and butt at the same time.
Annette Bening rides the carpet-muncher express to ladylove town with Julianne Moore in The Kids are All Right. Annette's twins are more than all right when she does the b&b (boobs and bush) mambo in The Grifters (1990).
Jennifer Lawrence has yet to shed her clothes with cameras around, but she offered up a tempting tease when she wore a bikini on The Bill Engvall Show. For now, it's still winter for Mr. Skin's bone as far as Jennifer's concerned.
Mr. Skin congratulates all the beautiful and talented nominees, and extends with his one free hand this gentle reminder: Just because you show skin, doesn't mean you can't win! Just ask Meryl Streep.
The nominees for Best Supporting Actress don’t have a whole lot to offer the meat-mangling market this year, with only one Mr. Skin Nudity Hall of Famer in the bunch and no nudity in the nominated roles. We here at Skin Central are not quitters (especially when it comes to clitters) so we’ve massaged the vaults to find your Best Supporting Actress nominees in the nominude.
Nudity Hall-of-famer Helena Bonham Carter rounds our list of nominudes, scoring a nom for her queenly performance in The King’s Speech. You won’t have to think of England when you see Helena shagging Merton Densher in The Wings of the Dove (1997).
The Academy likes to spray its golden shower of recognition onto films that deal with “serious” issues but don't push the skinema envelope. The tiniest whiff of an NC-17 can send Hollywood producers into a cutting room frenzy of piranha-esque proportions, and it's the three B's they usually skeletonize in their dig for Oscar gold. This year, Blue Valentine was released initially as an NC-17, but when awards talk started buzzing around star Michelle Williams, the film was changed to an R. Mr. Skin ain't afraid of no X, so we're proud to present this tribute to the skintrepid blue movie pioneers of the Academy Awards!
The only X-rated film to win an Oscar for Best Picture is 1969’s Midnight Cowboy, starring Jon Voight as a baby-faced hustler. Jon's dreams might have been shattered by the mean streets of New York, but we're still enchanted by the magical mammage of his first john (Jane?), played by Brenda Vaccaro.
X-rated skinema took a twisted turn with Stanley Kubrick’s antisocial opus A Clockwork Orange (1971), nominated for Best Picture. Alex had a taste for the sex as well as the ultraviolence, and his perverted fantasies naturally include plenty of boobies for the droogies.
Director Roberto Bertolluci and actor Marlon Brando were both honored by the Academy for their parts in Last Tango in Paris (1973) but we think Maria Schneider deserves a special lifetime skinchievement award for her full frontal fearlessness in this wanktastic classic.
In more recent times, the X rating has been replaced by the less xxxplicit sounding NC-17. Henry & June (1990), the first film ever released with an NC-17, is also the only one to be nominated for an Academy Award (for cinematography). There's plenty of (well-lit) skin in this celebration of la vie boheme (aka bisexual horndoggery) in 1920s Paris.
Perhaps someday a randy redeemer will come along and liberate the Academy from their hangups, and a titillating tide of nudity will come washing over the Oscars like a cleansing flood. But until that sexcellent day, blue movies (and Mr. Skin) stand stiffly alone. We can only get down on our knees and, uhm...pray.
Stay tuned for more Academy-Award winning nudity all this week on the Mr. Skin blog!
Though he is considerably less bald and golden, Mr. Skin has at least one thing in common with Mr. Oscar: an abiding love of onscreen ladies of the night. Common sense in Tinseltown states that if an actress wants the gods of the Academy to smile upon her, she should play a stripper, a hooker, or a nun. We here at Skin Central are biased towards the strippers and the hookers (though nuns aren’t always so bad), so we're turning on the red light for this skinspiratonal sampling of actresses who’ve gone from walking the streets to walking the red carpet.
Perhaps the most famous cinema call girl is Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman (1990). Julia charmed the Academy into a Best Actress nom after charming Richard Gere out of his pants as the ultimate hooker with a heart of gold. Body double Shelly Michelle serves most of the skin in this flick, but in one scene Jules lets a definite nip slip while rolling in the sack.
Elisabeth Shue also works hard for her money- hard enough to win an Oscar for her performance as a streetwalker in Leaving Las Vegas (1996). The scene where she pours Nicholas Cage a tequila body shot in the desert sun still has Mr. Skin all hot and bothered.
Way back in her Hanoi Jane days, Jane Fonda got liberated as a happy hooker in Klute (1971)- and got a little gold man for her trouble. Most of Jane’s nudity in the film is woefully under-lit, but her nice perky lil’ right nip pops up in this well-lit scene.
More recently, Marisa Tomei took off her top to pay the bills in The Wrestler (2008). Mr. Skin thought that Marissa’s hooters were rays of sunshine in the otherwise relentlessly downbeat film, and the Academy must have agreed, since they rewarded her with an Oscar nom.
Grab a handful of sweaty bills, because we've barely stroked the tip of the nude iceberg of skinema sex work, and Mr. Skin is gonna make it rain!
Stay tuned for more Academy-Award winning nudity all this week on the Mr. Skin blog!
Mr. Skin is quivering with anticipation, because the Academy Awards are getting a heaping helping of carpet munching this year! Nominees Black Swan and The Kids Are All Right both feature scenes of lesbionic love (and lesbionic parenting, in the case of the latter). In honor of this perfect Sapphic storm, Mr. Skin is counting down our favorite girl-on-girl scenes that Mr. Oscar has favored with his affections.
Charlize Theron was a big winner for her performance as unhinged lesbian serial killer Aileen Wournos in Monster (2003). Before Aileen is sent to the chair for her homicidal hooker ways, sparks fly between her and ladylover Christina Ricci.Christina keeps her hefty headlights inside her top in the film, leaving Mr. Skin feeling truly victimized.
Hilary Swank made a splash with her portrayal of Brandon Teena in the tearjerker Boys Don’t Cry (1999), for which she won an Academy Award. In the film, Hilary puts a finger into sweet, sweet dyke Chloe Sevigny in a lesbian scene so skintastic, it had to be trimmed down for the film to get an R rating.
More fornicating femmes after the jump!
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