Posts tagged with Count Rackula

TJI Friday

Welcome back my friends, to Castle Rackula. I know a laid a heavy trip on you last week with my long-winded discourse on the ancient Indo-European roots of modern rape-revenge flicks, but since the Last House on the Left remake still isn’t out, this week I’m turning once again to Friday the 13th, a subject on which I always have something to say.

The reboot has been on my mind again this week as I perused the new photos of Willa Ford and Julianna Guill online and noticed that there’s yet another Friday the 13th (the day, not the movie) coming up in a few weeks, which I haven’t decided yet how to acknowledge.

According to movie industry blog Risky Business, New Line and Platinum Dunes are moving forward on a sequel to the Friday the 13th reboot, which will also be scripted by Damian Shannon and Mark Swift and could be out by the second half of next year.

I have already gotten over my earlier discomfort with bringing in a hockey-masked Jason Voorhees into a movie called Friday the 13th, but I’ve made my peace with that.

Reportedly, Shannon and Swift, who looked to the first four movies for inspiration, are going off on their own at this point, (perhaps wisely) disregarding the Tommy Jarvis story arc that picked up in A New Beginning and completely avoiding any telekinetic teenagers or forays into New York City.

Read more after the bite.

To Avoid Fainting, Keep Repeating “It’s only a Remake…”

Welcome back, my friends, to Castle Rackula. Prepare for an unusually long and discursive post this week.

I’ve been in the castle’s library for the past few nights boning up on the latest actresses, and I got a chance to do a little reading while I was at it. Therefore I decided to take a more scholarly approach to this week’s subject, the upcoming Last Louse on the Left remake.

But don’t worry, I haven’t forgotten to include plenty of nudition to accompany all the erudition.

Read more after the bite.

Count Rack Assesses the Reboot

Welcome back, my friends to Castle Rackula. This week, I’ll be reviewing the new Friday the 13th remake, paying special attention (as always) to the female nudity therein.

Since this is a “reboot” and not a remake, I’ll forgive the inclusion of the adult Jason Voorhees (who, as everyone knows, didn’t appear until Friday the 13th Part 2) and his hockey mask (which came in Friday the 13th Part III, recently released in 3D special edition DVD).

Fans will also recognize that this is only the fourth film in the franchise to be released on an actual Friday the 13th, following Friday the 13th Part III on August 13 1982, Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood on May 13 1988, and Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday on August 13, 1993.

Read the full review after the bite.

RSVP? No T&A?

Welcome back to Castle Rackula. I hope everyone enjoyed my look back at Cat People last week, because this is the week to momentarily abandon nostalgia and turn to the here and now.

Today The Uninvited opens up in theaters and I’m sad to say it contains no nudity.

A remake of the acclaimed 2003 South Korean fright flick Janghwa, Hongryeon, The Uninvited not only has no nudity in itself, but boasts a cast of never-nude actresses to boot!

It’s like a stake through the heart, this skinlessness!

Skingy as they are, many of the movie’s stars are tangentially connected to some great nudity. My hope is that pointing out all the opportunities to show skin these act-chests have blown (but not really) over the years will shame them into flashing flesh in the future.

Read more after the bite.

3 B’s in 3-D

Hello my friends, and welcome once again to Castle Rackula high in the peaks of Mamsylvania. This week I’ll be reviewing the 3-D slasher remake My Bloody Valentine.

But before I get to the movie, I have to comment on two of the previews that preceded it. The first was for Friday the 13th, out in theaters February 13th, and the second was for Last House on the Left.

I have to say, after the Halloween debacle, I was not enthusiastic about a Friday the 13th remake. And the disregard for the storyline the filmmakers showed in making Jason Voorhees the killer didn’t help. But everything I’ve seen so far looks pretty good, so I’ll reserve judgment.

My inclinations toward Last House on the Left are less charitable. But that’s another column for another day.

Read my full MBV3D review after the bite.

A Look at the Latest Horror-themed Additions to MrSkin.com

Welcome back my friends, to Castle Rackula. It’s been a while since I’ve written, and frankly I’m still recovering from last week’s festivities. Let’s just say they made Get Crazy look like End of Days and and leave it at that.

As a result, I still have a crypt full of movies to review, including Wet Wilderness and Razorback (from the good folks at J4HI.com), both of which look promising.

So this week I’ve decided to take a look at the new additions to the website from the world of horror and the macabre. I think you’ll skin-joy it as much as I did.

Read more after the bite.

Welcome back to Castle Rackula for the third and final installment of my Horny Holiday Horrors series. This will be my last post of the year as I am preparing for my annual Holiday Trip to a secret island in the Caspian Sea where I join a few of my powerful Hollywood friends to hunt the most dangerous game: human beings we found on Craigslist.

But I will be back in 2009 with an expanded blog and a new commitment to Twittering. So if you’re not already following me on Twitter, don’t waste another precious moment.

But without further ado, I bring you three more Christmas-themed slasher movies with nudity.

Read more after the bite.

Welcome back my friends, to Castle Rackula and thanks to all of you who are following on Twitter. Sorry I don’t update more often, but these Internet trice are hard for a 1200-year-old dog like me to learn

The Christmas Season marches on, even her in Mamsylvania, and as promised, this week’s column will be dedicated to the sequels of the classic Santa slasher flick Silent Night, Deadly Night.

So put on a yule log. heat up some eggnog and prepare to jingle some bells.

Read more after the bite.